Blonds with Pigs

Discussion in 'The Drivers Lounge' started by RacerX69, May 18, 2014.

  1. RacerX69

    RacerX69 Retired Gear Jammer/IBEW Retired/Wingnut

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    One day two blondes each bought a pig. The problem they were having was telling the two pigs apart.

    So, the first blonde had an idea: She said, "I'll cut my pig's tail off, then we will know the difference." So she cut her pig's tail off.

    That night the pigs got in a fight and one pig bit the other pig's tail off. The next morning the blonde had a solution, she said,"I'll just cut my pig's right back leg off." So, she did.

    That night same thing; the pigs got in a fight and one pig bit the other pig's right back leg off. The next morning the blondes were real upset and finally decided to cut the back left leg from the pig, so she did.

    That night the pigs got in a fight and one pig bit the other pig's back left leg off. The next morning the blondes were really upset and didn't know how they were going to tell their pigs apart. So, one of them stated, "I will cut my pig's right front leg off. Then we can tell our pigs apart." So, she did.

    That night the pigs got in a fight and one pig bit the other pig's right front leg off. The blondes were really upset and decided the only logical explanation would be to cut the remaining leg off one pig. So, they did.

    That night the pigs got in a fight and one pig bit the other pig's only leg off. The next morning when the blondes awoke they were devastated. Finally, the other blonde spoke up and said, "How about you take the white one and I'll take the black one."
     
  2. xeastend

    xeastend Active Member

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    Thats 2 mins of life I will never get back reading this
     
  3. Guardrail

    Guardrail Super Moderator Staff Member

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    Next time, skip to the bottom of the post. Saves a lot of time.
     
  4. RacerX69

    RacerX69 Retired Gear Jammer/IBEW Retired/Wingnut

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    You're not a blonde, are you?
     
  5. pro1driver

    pro1driver I am LAST

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    well.....Racer,

    since at least 2 people didn't like reading all through that LONG joke..

    here is mine...



    said, the Priest
     
  6. xeastend

    xeastend Active Member

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    If I was blonde, would have been 30 mins and STILL would not get it
     
  7. xeastend

    xeastend Active Member

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    A Nun, Rabbi and a Priest walk into a bar.

    Bartender says ' What is this, some kind of a joke!? "
     
  8. pro1driver

    pro1driver I am LAST

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    sure, we serve crabs, sit down....
     
  9. grocerythrower

    grocerythrower Super Mod

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    I thought it was a fine joke Racer, I rather enjoyed it, my first wife was blond and yep, she was stupid, my second wife was a brunette and yep, she was stupid too, my 3rd and current wife is a readhead....well Sir....I love her, I can't say anymore.
     
  10. RacerX69

    RacerX69 Retired Gear Jammer/IBEW Retired/Wingnut

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    Thanks for the props Brother!

    I've had smart ones and dumb ones with every color of hair. Its just that somewhere along the way somebody decided to beat up on blondes when they were making jokes. I think that as long as the joke is not designed as a direct personal insult at a specific individual then it is OK, you know, just a "joke".

    So, did ya here the one about the brunette?
     
  11. grocerythrower

    grocerythrower Super Mod

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    You mean the one about my 2nd ex wife being an idiot? I have heard em all, I invented a couple, I do believe she was dumber than my dumb blond ex wife.
     
  12. pro1driver

    pro1driver I am LAST

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    from what i remember, guys may not always stop for a blonde, but WILL ALWAYS stop for a red head...
     
  13. xeastend

    xeastend Active Member

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    What do you get when a Blonde does a hand stand??

    A Brunette with bad breath
     
  14. Roadrunner73

    Roadrunner73 Well-Known Member

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    I met some blonde pigs in my younger days. God bless them....
     
  15. TedWard

    TedWard on the Chainwax

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    Blonde jokes huh?

    How many blondes does it take to screw in a light bulb?

    Well first off, it has to be a really, really big light bulb.
     
  16. xeastend

    xeastend Active Member

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    My blonde neighbor did quality control at the M&M factory.

    She got fired.

    Rejected all the W's
     
  17. othertrucker2001

    othertrucker2001 Professional Flummoxer

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    Good answer.
     
    1 person likes this.
  18. othertrucker2001

    othertrucker2001 Professional Flummoxer

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    What do you get when you take a hooker to Red Lobster??

    10% discount for bringing your own crabs.
     
  19. othertrucker2001

    othertrucker2001 Professional Flummoxer

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    The pig joke reminded me of the old Jerry Clower story about the Ledbetter boy walking to town and passed a girl carrying a duck under her arm. As he passed her he said...thats one ugly pig. She turned and screamed ....its not a pig. Its a duck. He said...I was talking to the duck.
     
  20. othertrucker2001

    othertrucker2001 Professional Flummoxer

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    Now remember... I don't do grass.

    What deep thinkers men are... I mowed the lawn*today, and after doing*
    so I sat down and had a cold beer. The day was really quite beautiful, and
    the drink facilitated some deep thinking.
    My wife walked by and asked me what I was doing and I said 'nothing'. The
    reason I said that instead of saying 'just thinking' is because she would
    have said 'about what'. At that point I would have to explain that men are
    deep thinkers about various topics which would lead to other questions. Finally I thought about an age old question: Is giving birth more painful
    than getting kicked in the nuts? Women always maintain that giving birth is way more painful than a guy getting kicked in the nuts.
    Well, after another beer, and some heavy deductive thinking, I have come
    up with the answer to that question. Getting kicked in the nuts is more
    painful than having a baby; and here is the reason for my conclusion. A year or so after giving birth, a woman will often say, "It might be nice to have another child." On the other hand, you never hear a guy say, "You know, I think I would like another kick in the nuts." I rest my case. Time for another beer.
     

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