Felix, a Newfie logger, travels across Canada to see the Pacific Ocean.
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He arrives in Nanaimo and likes it so much that he decides to stay. But first he must find a job.*
Felix goes to the local MacMillan-Bloedel office and fills out an application as an 'experienced' logger.
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It's his lucky day. Mac-Blo is looking for an experienced logger.
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The personnel manager asks Joe, the grumpy bush foreman, to verify Felix's logging experience.
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Joe drives Felix into the forest, stops the truck on the side of the road, and points at a tree.
He says,*"See that tree over there? What is the species and how many board feet of lumber does it have?"
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Felix replies,*"Dat dere's a Sitka Spruce and she got 383 board feet a' lumber in 'er."
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Joe is impressed. He drives a mile down the road and stops. He points at a tree and asks the same question.
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Felix replies,*"Lord tunderin'jasus b'y! Dat's yer Douglas Fir and she got 690 board feet."
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Joe is really impressed. Felix answered quickly and got the answers right without even using a calculator!
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One more test. They drive a little farther down the road, and Joe stops at the side of the road.
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Joe points to a tree and asks,*"And what about that one?"
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Felix replies,*"A Yeller Cedar, 242 board feet at most."
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Joe spins the truck around and heads back to the office.
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He is annoyed because Felix is smarter than he is.
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Then he stops the truck and asks Felix to step outside.
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Joe hands Felix a piece of chalk and says,*"I want you to mark an X on the front of that tree over there."
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As Felix runs towards the tree Joe mumbles to himself,*"Idiot! How would he know the front of a tree?"
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Felix reaches the tree, walks around it and looks the tree up and down.
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Then he then reaches up and places a white X on the side that faces the road.
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He runs back to the truck and hands the chalk to Joe.
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Felix says,*"Dat's da front a' dat tree fer sure."****************************
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Joe laughs sarcastically and asks,*"How in hell do you know that's the front of the tree?"
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Cleaning the toe of his left boot in the gravel, Felix replies,*"Cuz someone took a sh#t behind it!"