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FedEx Freight | FedEx jokes

Dick Dastardly

Dick Dastardly

Drat, Double Drat, and Triple Drat!
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In order to inject some light hearted humor into this thread, let's hear your best Fedex jokes. I'll start:

One Monday morning the Fedex man is driving the neighborhood on his usual route. As he approaches one of the homes he noticed that both cars were in the driveway. His wonder was cut short by Bob, the homeowner, coming out with a load of empty beer and liquor bottles.

"Wow Bob, looks like you guys had one hell of a party last night," the Fedex man comments. Bob, in obvious pain, replies "Actually we had it Saturday night. This is the first I have felt like moving since 4:00 am Sunday morning. We had about fifteen couples from around the neighborhood over for some weekend fun and it got a bit wild." "Hell, we all got so drunk around midnight that we started playing WHO AM I." The Fedex man thinks a moment and says, "How do you play WHO AM I?" "Well, all the guys go in the bedroom and we come out one at a time with a sheet covering us and with only our 'privates' showing through a hole in the sheet. Then the women try to guess who it is." The Fedex man laughs and says, "Damn, I'm sorry I missed that." "Probably a good thing you did," Bob responded. "Your name came up seven times..."
 
Two Lebanese-American FedEx Ground drivers over $60 million by a jury in connection with a discrimination suit. Edgar Rizkallah and Kamil Issa claimed that their manager regularly referred to them as "camel jockeys," "terrorists" and, most hurtful of all, as "UPS colored."
 
FedEx Joke
A joke that you don't understand until the day after it's been told.
Guy: *tells a joke*

dude: I don't get it.

Guy: It's a FedEx joke, you'll get it tomorrow.

Dude: whatever.

The next day

Dude: Oh, now I get it! That's a funny joke!
 
Dick Dastardly said:
Two Lebanese-American FedEx Ground drivers over $60 million by a jury in connection with a discrimination suit. Edgar Rizkallah and Kamil Issa claimed that their manager regularly referred to them as "camel jockeys," "terrorists" and, most hurtful of all, as "UPS colored."
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I'm OFFENDED,I'm OFFENDED!!!, Bet I beat someone to that!
 
FLOUNDER said:
FedEx Joke
A joke that you don't understand until the day after it's been told.
Guy: *tells a joke*

dude: I don't get it.

Guy: It's a FedEx joke, you'll get it tomorrow.

Dude: whatever.

The next day

Dude: Oh, now I get it! That's a funny joke!
Click to expand...
No wonder the mails so slow! Flounder s always LAST
 
I have one.... fedex ground trucks. .... now only allowed to go 65 period. Even if the speed limit is 70 or more. ... fedex ground the rolling road block of 2017.
 
So this old Viking driver (now FedEx) is on his way to his layover point. The sun has only been up a little while and his eyes are burning something fierce and he just wants to wash his face. A rest area is just ahead and it's a sight for seriously sore eyes. He parks and starts walking to the restrooms and as he approaches the door, he can hear the hand dryer running. No big deal he thinks, so he opens the door and starts to walk in. There in front of the hand dryer is a young man, that upon seeing someone walking in, immediately makes motions suggesting that he is sticking something back in his pants and zipping them up. The young man couldn't get out the door fast enough.
The old Viking driver washed his face and laughed his ass off the rest of the way.

Shudder to think what that kid's first blow job would have been like if that hand dryer had been one of those xcelerators.
 
Richard Cranium said:
So this old Viking driver (now FedEx) is on his way to his layover point. The sun has only been up a little while and his eyes are burning something fierce and he just wants to wash his face. A rest area is just ahead and it's a sight for seriously sore eyes. He parks and starts walking to the restrooms and as he approaches the door, he can hear the hand dryer running. No big deal he thinks, so he opens the door and starts to walk in. There in front of the hand dryer is a young man, that upon seeing someone walking in, immediately makes motions suggesting that he is sticking something back in his pants and zipping them up. The young man couldn't get out the door fast enough.
The old Viking driver washed his face and laughed his ass off the rest of the way.

Shudder to think what that kid's first blow job would have been like if that hand dryer had been one of those xcelerators.
Click to expand...

Where the heck does a Richard Cranium layover, anyway?
 
truckingBORED said:
Where the heck does a Richard Cranium layover, anyway?
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Oh, this was back in the olden days, pre fixing of the West when we were still a real trucking company. 95% or more runs were laydowns. Worked quite well, our profit sharing checks came eleven months a year and were very nice.
 
Richard Cranium said:
So this old Viking driver (now FedEx) is on his way to his layover point. The sun has only been up a little while and his eyes are burning something fierce and he just wants to wash his face. A rest area is just ahead and it's a sight for seriously sore eyes. He parks and starts walking to the restrooms and as he approaches the door, he can hear the hand dryer running. No big deal he thinks, so he opens the door and starts to walk in. There in front of the hand dryer is a young man, that upon seeing someone walking in, immediately makes motions suggesting that he is sticking something back in his pants and zipping them up. The young man couldn't get out the door fast enough.
The old Viking driver washed his face and laughed his ass off the rest of the way.

Shudder to think what that kid's first blow job would have been like if that hand dryer had been one of those xcelerators.
Click to expand...
I hope said Viking driver dried his face with PAPER towels....:17142:
 
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