From the stupid file

Discussion in 'The Drivers Lounge' started by Stimpy, Dec 18, 2016.

  1. DCM_Doc

    DCM_Doc Well-Known Member

    Messages:
    2,520
    Likes Received:
    2,074
    Trophy Points:
    113
    A friend who was a foreman on a construction site told me he had a friend who was delivering ready mix to a site he was on. The driver told him he lost part of a load & wanted him to sign for a full load. The driver claimed to have driven by his mobile home & saw his wife's ex's car parked out side. He said he filled up the car to the lower part of the seats then drove off.
     
    Stimpy likes this.
  2. othertrucker2001

    othertrucker2001 Professional Flummoxer

    Messages:
    2,086
    Likes Received:
    597
    Trophy Points:
    113
    REAL LIFE NIGHT TERRORS:

    Its 2 am and our pups are letting us know that it's time to go out. I'm pulling on my old sweatpants and I realize...my man parts are moving..like never before, when the realization hits me. IT AINT NO PUPPY. SOOOO, I launch myself upward about six feet trying to get the sweats off, while connecting with the ceiling fan, then falling off the bed, with this " movement" still...MOVING. I launch myself skyward again, still trying to separate myself from the sweatpants. Still no deal. Finally after a third launch, I'm able to rid myself of the afficked pants, only to find that this "movement" has now attached itself to my neck. The fight is now on. We're still in the dark...fighting. After what feels like an hour, my wife turns on the light only to find Carbon, our daughters ferret clinging to me for dear life.
     
    Stimpy and FLOUNDER like this.
  3. FLOUNDER

    FLOUNDER I am LAST

    Messages:
    4,335
    Likes Received:
    335
    Trophy Points:
    83
    My three-year-old daughter stuck out her hand and said, “Look at the fly I killed, daddy.” Since she was eating a juicy pickle at the time, 
I thrust her contaminated hands under the faucet and washed them with antibacterial soap.


    After sitting her down to finish her pickle, I asked, with a touch of awe, “How did you kill that fly all by yourself?”
    Between bites, she said, “I hit it with my pickle.”
     
    Big Dave, Stimpy and othertrucker2001 like this.
  4. Stimpy

    Stimpy Wingnut

    Messages:
    3,154
    Likes Received:
    2,198
    Trophy Points:
    120
    Sounds like othertrucker could have killed more than a fly with his pickle...lol
     
    FLOUNDER and Big Dave like this.
  5. Apostolic

    Apostolic Super Moderator Staff Member

    Messages:
    23,236
    Likes Received:
    2,082
    Trophy Points:
    113
    With the warm weather of summer on its way here is a good subject for the Stupid files.

     
    pro1driver and Stimpy like this.
  6. Stimpy

    Stimpy Wingnut

    Messages:
    3,154
    Likes Received:
    2,198
    Trophy Points:
    120
    I watched a show on the travel channel. ... favorite water holes.... there are a bunch of quarries up your way in new York. ... I always thought it was stupid to jump in to the unknown waters.
     
  7. Stimpy

    Stimpy Wingnut

    Messages:
    3,154
    Likes Received:
    2,198
    Trophy Points:
    120
  8. Stimpy

    Stimpy Wingnut

    Messages:
    3,154
    Likes Received:
    2,198
    Trophy Points:
    120
  9. othertrucker2001

    othertrucker2001 Professional Flummoxer

    Messages:
    2,086
    Likes Received:
    597
    Trophy Points:
    113
    Shrinkage.....there was shrinkage dang it.
     
    Stimpy likes this.
  10. DCM_Doc

    DCM_Doc Well-Known Member

    Messages:
    2,520
    Likes Received:
    2,074
    Trophy Points:
    113
    A niece's ferret found her car keys during the night. She was going to a college class when she discovered her keys were missing. After about an hour long search she found her keys.The college professor was not amused about her excuse for being late for class. He said he thought he had heard all possible excuses for students being tardy.
     
    pro1driver and othertrucker2001 like this.
  11. othertrucker2001

    othertrucker2001 Professional Flummoxer

    Messages:
    2,086
    Likes Received:
    597
    Trophy Points:
    113
    Yep. We rearranged the living room once day and found a stash of dog food behind the couch. We thought it was funny. Several months later we replaced the stove. We found nearly a 10 lb bag of dog food lined up against the wall.
     
  12. pro1driver

    pro1driver I am LAST

    Messages:
    5,663
    Likes Received:
    963
    Trophy Points:
    113
  13. Apostolic

    Apostolic Super Moderator Staff Member

    Messages:
    23,236
    Likes Received:
    2,082
    Trophy Points:
    113
    Is there some point where you can make yourself to healthy?
    Here are some folks who went crazy over their good health.

     
    Stimpy likes this.
  14. Big Dave

    Big Dave Dispatcher for Team BRG-Wong

    Messages:
    4,777
    Likes Received:
    3,772
    Trophy Points:
    113
    Just a disclaimer: my head and my hat are steroid-free. Both of us are all natural.....well...except for the excessive Dew use...
     
    seabreeze and Stimpy like this.
  15. Stimpy

    Stimpy Wingnut

    Messages:
    3,154
    Likes Received:
    2,198
    Trophy Points:
    120
    I never had the desire to ever have muscles anything like that. .... to me it a disease similar to anorexia.
     
    DCM_Doc likes this.
  16. DCM_Doc

    DCM_Doc Well-Known Member

    Messages:
    2,520
    Likes Received:
    2,074
    Trophy Points:
    113
    The human body will be what is natural for it with proper diet and exercise. No two people are the same just as no two bodies are the same. Young people often ruin their lives & health trying to be some Hollywood celebrity or professional athlete.
     
    pro1driver and Stimpy like this.
  17. pro1driver

    pro1driver I am LAST

    Messages:
    5,663
    Likes Received:
    963
    Trophy Points:
    113
    my dad always used to say, those body builders are fake. that they cannot even lift a paper envelope.

    all they do is build up muscle mass, heck we can all do that with some simple workouts.

    for me however, i prefer my workout i do daily now, due to my ongoing back problems...

    this is me, as of yesterday...

    [​IMG]
     
    DCM_Doc and Stimpy like this.
  18. pro1driver

    pro1driver I am LAST

    Messages:
    5,663
    Likes Received:
    963
    Trophy Points:
    113
    they are gonna have FUN rotating me on the O/R table in a few weeks....lol...lol...lol
     
    DCM_Doc likes this.
  19. Stimpy

    Stimpy Wingnut

    Messages:
    3,154
    Likes Received:
    2,198
    Trophy Points:
    120
  20. Stimpy

    Stimpy Wingnut

    Messages:
    3,154
    Likes Received:
    2,198
    Trophy Points:
    120
  21. pro1driver

    pro1driver I am LAST

    Messages:
    5,663
    Likes Received:
    963
    Trophy Points:
    113

Share This Page