O x y m o r o n s

Stimpy

Wingnut
Credits
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1. Why is the third hand on the watch called the second hand?


2. If a word is misspelled in the dictionary, how would we ever know?


3. If Webster wrote the first dictionary, where did he find the words?


4. Why do we say something is out of whack? What is a whack?


5. Why does "slow down" and "slow up" mean the same thing?


6. Why does "fat chance" and "slim chance" mean the same thing?


7. Why do "tug" boats push their barges?


8. Why do we sing "Take me out to the ball game" when we are already there?


9. Why are they called "stands" when they are made for sitting?


10. Why is it called "after dark" when it really is "after light"?


11. Doesn't "expecting the unexpected" make the unexpected expected?


12.. Why are a "wise man" and a "wise guy" opposites?


13. Why do "overlook" and "oversee" mean opposite things?


14. Why is " phonetic " not spelled the way it sounds?


15. If work is so terrific, why do they have to pay you to do it?


16. If all the world is a stage, where is the audience sitting?


17. If love is blind, why is lingerie so popular?


18. If you are cross-eyed and have dyslexia, can you read all right?

19. Why is bra singular and panties plural?


20. Why do you press harder on the buttons of a remote control when you know the batteries are dead?


21. Why do we put suits in garment bags and garments in a suitcase?


22. How come abbreviated is such a long word?


23. Why do we wash bath towels? Aren't we clean when we use them?


24. Why doesn't glue stick to the inside of the bottle?


25. Why do they call it a TV set when you only have one?


26. Christmas - What other time of the year do you sit in front of a dead tree and eat candy out of your socks?


27. Why do we drive on a parkway and park on a driveway?
 
happy go lucky, yet we do not hear lucky go happy.

Why is it called baseball when a player wants not to hit a ball TO a base?
Was Baseball created on a Base?

A Moron on Oxycontin or Oxymoron....well anyways.

Then we have General (add your word)...., so there are many Generals as well Majors yet no Colonels or Lieutenants, just few Privates.

Pleasantly surprised yet very few times we hear surprisingly pleasant (which as well can be used with few comments from pro1dwiver---:) ).

One can plow a ditch where many children prefer to ditch a plow.

A Firelight, isn't.
Candlelight, in the form of a flashlight, isn't.

Why does a flashlight burn steadily?

High beam, Low beam yet the beam of light isn't.

Loosing patience is better than loosing patients.

11. Doesn't "expecting the unexpected" make the unexpected expected? Yes.

Some scents are awful.
Many cents are useful.
Common sense is isn't.

....................error.....................input negated...................shut down..............end of line
 
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1. Why is the third hand on the watch called the second hand?

2. If a word is misspelled in the dictionary, how would we ever know?

3. If Webster wrote the first dictionary, where did he find the words?

4. Why do we say something is out of whack? What is a whack?

5. Why does "slow down" and "slow up" mean the same thing?

6. Why does "fat chance" and "slim chance" mean the same thing?

7. Why do "tug" boats push their barges?

8. Why do we sing "Take me out to the ball game" when we are already there?

9. Why are they called "stands" when they are made for sitting?

10. Why is it called "after dark" when it really is "after light"?

11. Doesn't "expecting the unexpected" make the unexpected expected?

12.. Why are a "wise man" and a "wise guy" opposites?

13. Why do "overlook" and "oversee" mean opposite things?

14. Why is "phonetic" not spelled the way it sounds?

15. If work is so terrific, why do they have to pay you to do it?

16. If all the world is a stage, where is the audience sitting?

17. If love is blind, why is lingerie so popular?

18. If you are cross-eyed and have dyslexia, can you read all right?

19. Why is bra singular and panties plural?

20. Why do you press harder on the buttons of a remote control when you know the batteries are dead?

21. Why do we put suits in garment bags and garments in a suitcase?

22. How come abbreviated is such a long word?

23. Why do we wash bath towels? Aren't we clean when we use them?

24. Why doesn't glue stick to the inside of the bottle?

25. Why do they call it a TV set when you only have one?

26. Christmas - What other time of the year do you sit in front of a dead tree and eat candy out of your socks?

27. Why do we drive on a parkway and park on a driveway?

1} Second count.
2)Another authored Dictionary?
3{ Books?
4( Webster does not know?
5% Slow Down when speeding, Slow Up before impact.
6& Not all are Fat or Slim.
7* For docking and guidance ease.
8! It was created for the people living beneath the Bleachers.
9@ For the same reason a Ladder is not always for climbing.
10- For the same reason we hear "under water" when it's actually IN water. (If you were "under water" you would be in the sand, mud or rock)
11b YES and Thank You!!
12c Unsure. I'm awaiting Wise Man Guy.
13d Rather weird, odd, strange, peculiar, *****. One can look over a ledge as well see over a ledge. I guess when one wants to Overlook something, one as well did not Oversee some action which initiated the Overlook, U C.
14p because of the american fixation in using PH instead of F.
15t Do you work for free?
16z In rush hour traffic.
17a Justice is blind too and lingerie helps.
18j Yes as well upside down.
19k Bra is for a set of glands where panties are (usually) for a pair of legs.
20. It's a male thing.
21. Some garments are suits and some suits are garments.
22. For the same reason "pause" indicates long term cessation.
23. Everything needs be washed sometime and some people do not entirely wash their selves.
24. For the same reason Hydrochloric and Sulfuric Acids do not dissolve Glass containers.
25. It is "set" on something.
26. I give up.
27. Trucks cannot drive on a Parkway. MANY drivers park up blocking a Driveway.
 
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How about contract (a disease) and contract (to sign up for a disease or virus)?

What about:

Discreet and Discrete.

Fall, Fell.

Choose, Chose.

Leaf, Leave.

Hunt, Haunt.

Say, Speak.

Drive, Drove.

No plural for Moose or Goose.

Mouse, Mice.

Rat, Rodent, then there's Ben and Willard.

Dyke, Dike.

Baby On Board (placard on vehicles) as well (nailing a doll to wood gets) Baby On Board.

Swell which denotes some unrelated things.

Erect, Erection.

Swim, Swam.

Phuket, F%^& *t.

Know, No.

Pharm, Farm. According to Dictionary.com, PharM is acceptable.

Military Intelligence.

I'm of the government and here to help.

Department of Public Safety (which, as WE well know, denotes No Safety).

***** your finger but try not to finger your *****

Just scratching the surface........Thanks be to Stimpy!! CHEERS!
 
.....continuation.............regarding the new requirement of logging the goofy 30 minute break, we are now allowed to log "less than 2 hours" in the sleeper for the 30 minute break?? Positive negativity, indirect conformity, collected dispersion, iced salt, steel wool polishing. dull shine, dark light, bloody well done.

What's a nit as in nitwit?

Whackaloon will make sense when we decipher whack using covert clarity.

CHUCKLES!!
 
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