Woke Up In Bed With A Pig Of A Wife......What To Do?

Discussion in 'The Drivers Lounge' started by petes4891, Aug 6, 2014.

  1. petes4891

    petes4891 Member

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    Well she used to be a hot babe, made me proud to call her mine, I would do almost anything to please her, the things she provided, we were both faithful and I never had reason to look at another, she was the only gal that mattetered, others desired her, she didn't come cheap though, she had high expectations of her man, and wouldn't put up with any crap, there were countless men she could have chose....but she chose me, and it was good. Man we had some good times, yes there were some moments and a few episodes but what relationship doesn't? So the years passed and things eventually began to be taken for granted, boredom crept in, the arguments increased, the bickering, she always wanted more. The love making was no longer passionate...I tried my best to give her what she wanted but it became clear she could not be pleased. We had drifted apart, we barely talked anymore. We lost respect for one another perhaps.....almost became enemies it seemed. Then one morning I woke up to find a snoring obese butt ugly pig lying next to me. Her alarm went off and she just kept on snorking. I finally had to grab my billy club lying next to the bed and give her a good poke in her sides. Up she rolled out of bed and into the shower and I lay there thinking what the **** did I get myself into?! What do I do? I can't take this anymore! Shell never change, lord knows I've bent over backwards for her anI have much invested and much to lose. She still could throw a good bang and that's all I really need......a clean house.....a nice meal every so often.....laundry done....you know, all those essential things a woman should provide......otherwise what's the point? I don't want to lose my stuff either! What to do........what to do? Ditch the biotch? Cut and run? Start all over again? Or just ignore it and silently suffer? Learn to "stuff her" while imagining she's someone else? Or convince her to lose weight, pretty herself up and go to counseling with me to see if we can fix all that is wrong? Hmmm decisions decisions. What to do. What to do. LOL
     
  2. chitownpeddler

    chitownpeddler Well-Known Member

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    Is this a true story or your version of humor?
     
  3. petes4891

    petes4891 Member

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    True story.....yup.
     
    Last edited by a moderator: Aug 6, 2014
  4. Dick Dastardly

    Dick Dastardly Drat, Double Drat, and Triple Drat!

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    Yeah well I'm sure your six pack has become a twelve pack driver. Do you look the same as when you said "I do" Stop being so superficial. You said for better or worse so suck it up and stop feeling sorry for yourself.
     
  5. BusterNite

    BusterNite Well-Known Member

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    If it meant that much to you that time and age could change so drastically, you should of had a prenuptial agreement or contract........so to speak............lol
     
  6. petes4891

    petes4891 Member

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    Ummmm.....
     
  7. petes4891

    petes4891 Member

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    Ahhhh.....
     
  8. Dick Dastardly

    Dick Dastardly Drat, Double Drat, and Triple Drat!

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    Oh wait... now I get it! I think.... Are we talking about the company?
     
  9. Richard Cranium

    Richard Cranium Well-Known Member

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    If he's talking about the company, his sex life hasn't diminished at all.
     
  10. petes4891

    petes4891 Member

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  11. Dick Dastardly

    Dick Dastardly Drat, Double Drat, and Triple Drat!

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    :LMAO:
    Ha ha! Yeah but he's receiving and not giving.
     
  12. lazyboy

    lazyboy New Member

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    very cool post Pete. didn't think it was cool at first but putting 2n2 2gether very funny.....
     
  13. kantgetryte

    kantgetryte Well-Known Member

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  14. SuperCourse

    SuperCourse Someday You'll Hate Amazon Too.

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    She's a cougar, she wants your tired ass gone so she can replace you with an energetic youngster that will be putty in her hands.
     
  15. RacerX69

    RacerX69 Retired Gear Jammer/IBEW Retired/Wingnut

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    Time to trade her in.
     
  16. mud

    mud Wonderin'

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    Try to make your point without writing a book. Imo.
     
    Last edited by a moderator: Aug 6, 2014
  17. petes4891

    petes4891 Member

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    No need to get all serious on a silly thread.:1036316054:
     
  18. pro1driver

    pro1driver I am LAST

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    nobody knows you..??

    this is why some seriousness is involved...???

    i could care less about your romantic and married life......

    on the one hand, YOU can make a difference, by losing weight, and getting some exercise. when she see's that, she may do the same, or lose you to a younger gal..

    but if you meant your entire thread to be taken as a typical married man's lament of marriage....congrats.....you succeeded in making some here laugh.....

    my jury is still out however......as i do not know you, or your various types of humor...

    my types of humor are....black, white, white trash, dry, droll, sarcastic, and mundane....i appeal to all people.....

    and some barnyard animals.....
     
  19. petes4891

    petes4891 Member

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    . Oh brother has this taken a turn for the worse....
     
  20. pro1driver

    pro1driver I am LAST

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    then the next time....(j/k)...or.....:LMAO:...after some of your sentences,...???

    will let others know you are joking/kidding..????

    otherwise, until you become a "known" character here.....no one will know what you mean......

    i certainly didn't..

    but hey, i'm from New England, and as such......everything must be said to us at least 3 times, to get the point......:LMAO:
     

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