YRC funnies thread - add yours/keep it clean

Discussion in 'YRC Freight' started by mustache, Jul 6, 2009.

  1. electraglideatl

    electraglideatl Well-Known Member

    Messages:
    1,485
    Likes Received:
    32
    Trophy Points:
    48
    I went to the paint store and ask the manager if he had some blonde paint?.........He said what is blonde paint?......I said it is paint that isnt so bright, its cheap, and it spreads real easy........ :dance:
     
  2. Jay C

    Jay C Banned

    Messages:
    3,511
    Likes Received:
    4
    Trophy Points:
    0

    This is really amazing! I don’t know who created this. Try it.


    Write your name after clicking click here .... Then see ....



    click here > http://www.dilmaza.com/intro/
     
  3. mustache

    mustache Well-Known Member

    Messages:
    6,475
    Likes Received:
    113
    Trophy Points:
    63
    Subject: JOSE AND CARLOS

    Jose and Carlos are both beggars. They beg in different areas of town.

    Carlos begs for the same amount of time as Jose, but only collects about eight or nine dollars a day.

    Every day, Jose brings home a suitcase full of ten dollar bills. He drives a Mercedes, lives in a mortgage-free house, and has lots of cash to spend.

    "Hey, amigo," Carlos says to Jose, "I work just as long and hard as you do, so how come you bring home a suitcase full of ten dollar bills every day?"

    Jose says, "Look at your sign, what does it say?"

    Carlos' sign reads;

    I have no work, a wife and
    six kids to support.





    "What's wrong with that?" Carlos asks him.

    "No wonder you only get eight or nine dollars a day!"

    Carlos says, "Alright, so what does your sign say?"

    Jose's sign reads:
    I only need ten dollars
    to get back to
    Mexico
     
  4. mustache

    mustache Well-Known Member

    Messages:
    6,475
    Likes Received:
    113
    Trophy Points:
    63
    Remember this the next time you have major surgery and need a blood transfusion!! This is good to know!!

    MEDICAL RESEARCH

    Australian Medical Association researchers have found
    that patients needing blood transfusions may benefit
    from receiving chicken blood
    rather than human blood.
    It tends to make the men "COCKY" and the women "LAY BETTER"....
    Just thought you'd like to know.

    BLESSED ARE THOSE WHO ARE CRACKED,
    FOR THEY ARE THE ONES WHO LET IN THE LIGHT!
    OK, I'll be going to my room now.
     
  5. mustache

    mustache Well-Known Member

    Messages:
    6,475
    Likes Received:
    113
    Trophy Points:
    63
    With Chelsea 's wedding coming up July 31st, Hillary wanted to play the perfect Mom.

    She asked Chelsea , "Have you had sex with Marc?"

    Chelsea said, "Not according to Dad"
     
  6. mustache

    mustache Well-Known Member

    Messages:
    6,475
    Likes Received:
    113
    Trophy Points:
    63
  7. mustache

    mustache Well-Known Member

    Messages:
    6,475
    Likes Received:
    113
    Trophy Points:
    63
  8. mustache

    mustache Well-Known Member

    Messages:
    6,475
    Likes Received:
    113
    Trophy Points:
    63
  9. mustache

    mustache Well-Known Member

    Messages:
    6,475
    Likes Received:
    113
    Trophy Points:
    63
    Subject: Why she changed hotels


    Last week, Kathy a fiftyish year old woman checked into the Holiday Inn on Rockside and was a bit lonely. She thought, "I'll call one of those men you see advertised in phone books for escorts and sensual massages."



    She looked through the phone book, found a full page ad for a guy named Joe - a very handsome Italian man with assorted physical skills flexing in the photo. He had all the right muscles in all the right places, thick wavy hair, short powerful legs, dazzling smile, six pack abs and she felt quite certain she could bounce a quarter off his well oiled butt....



    She figured, what the heck, she'll give him a call. "Hello, ma'am, how may I help you?" . . . Oh my, she thought Joe sounds so sexy!



    Afraid she would lose her nerve if she hesitated, she said, "Hi Joe, I hear you give a great massage, I'd like you to come to my room number 420 at the Holiday Inn on Rockside and give me one. No, wait, I should be straight with you. I'm here all alone and what I really want is sex. I want it hard, I want it hot, and I want it now.



    Bring implements, toys, rubber, leather, whips, everything you've got in your bag of tricks. We'll go hot and heavy all night - tie me up, cover me in chocolate syrup and whipped cream, anything and everything baby. Now how does that sound?"



    He says, "Oh my God ... That sounds absolutely fantastic, but you need to press 9 for an outside line."
     
  10. mustache

    mustache Well-Known Member

    Messages:
    6,475
    Likes Received:
    113
    Trophy Points:
    63
    'Mom, may I take the dog for a walk around the block?'



    Mom replies, 'No, because she is in heat.'

    'What's that mean?' asked the child.

    'Go ask your father. I think he's in the garage.'

    The little girl goes to the garage and says, 'Dad, may I take Belle for a walk around the block? I asked Mom, but she said the dog was in heat, and to come to you.'

    Dad said, 'Bring Belle over here.' He took a rag, soaked it with gasoline, and scrubbed the dog's backside with it to disguise the scent, and said 'OK, you can go now, but keep Belle on the leash and only go one time round the block.'

    The little girl left and returned a few minutes later with no dog on the leash. Surprised, Dad asked, 'Where's Belle?'

    (YOU'RE GONNA LOVE THIS!!!!!!!! ! )

    The little girl said, 'She ran out of gas about halfway down the block, so another dog is pushing her home.'

    '
     
  11. mustache

    mustache Well-Known Member

    Messages:
    6,475
    Likes Received:
    113
    Trophy Points:
    63
    A man came home from work one day to find his wife on the front porch with her bags packed.

    'Just where the heck do you think you're going!', said the man.

    'I'm going to Las Vegas ', said the wife, 'I just found out I can get $400 a night for what I give you for free!

    'The man said, 'Wait a minute!', and then ran inside the house only to come back a few minutes later with his suitcases in hand.

    'Where the heck are you going?', said the wife.

    The man said, 'I want to see how you're gonna live on $800 a year!'
     
  12. mustache

    mustache Well-Known Member

    Messages:
    6,475
    Likes Received:
    113
    Trophy Points:
    63
    SEX AFTER DEATH

    A couple made a deal that whoever died first would come back and inform the other of the sex after death. Their biggest fear was that there was no after life at all. After a long life together, the husband was the first to die.


    True to his word, he made the first contact:


    "Judy..........Judy"

    "Is that you, George?"

    "Yes, I've come back like we agreed."

    "That's wonderful! What's it like?"

    "Well, I get up in the morning and I have sex. I have breakfast and then it's off to the golf course. I have sex again, bathe in the warm sun and then have sex a couple of more times.

    Then I have lunch and then another romp around the golf course, then pretty much have sex the rest of the afternoon. After supper, it's back to golf course again. Then it's more sex until late at night. I catch some much needed sleep and then the next day it starts all over again"

    "Oh, George...are you in Heaven?"



    "No...........I'm a rabbit in Kansas."
     

Share This Page