LOL Ya'll both funny!

At work I asked a woman where her tv was located so I could send out service tech. She said 'in my livingroom'.

Or the man that called in, embarrassed that he had to cancel an appt for tech to come fix his tv. Apparently his mom fixed the problem. TV was on the wrong channel.

Riding across I-10 to finish my trip to Houston when my Blackberry chirped.
Florida area code, but definitely not my chick's number. Guess I need to quit thinking of her as my chick anyway.
"Hello" I said.
"What's up Rick, this is Chad. Dude on the boat yesterday." said the caller.
"Hey, what's going on dude? Not expecting to hear from any of you guys again."
"Yeah, well I hate bothering you like this, but there may be a problem." he tells me.
Suspicious now."Oh yeah? What's up?"
"Well, no problem with me bud, but remember that Cindi chick?" he asked.
"Ah, I think so. Was she that skinny vegan girl? Hippie looking chick? Squeaky voice?" I asked.
"Yep, that's the one. I don't know how to say this, but she may be a problem."
This guy is starting to annoy me now. I wish he would just spit it out, whatever he's trying to say, and I told him so.
"Ok man, it's like this. Cindi is totally freaked out over this whole deal. I mean like traumatized or something." He tells me now.
"So what?" I respond. "Tell her to get over it. It was just a dumb fish. They barely have brains anyway."
"Well pal, it's like this.She wants to have you arrested and she may have the pull to get it done.
Just so happens her pop is a big shot with the Florida Fish & Game Commission. And he is a regular hardass too.
I'm sure he would love to bust you on illegally fishing with a firearm or some such charge" he tells me, almost cheerfully.
It's starting to feel like this guy is not really on my team.
"Whoa buddy. What are you talking about? There is no evidence anything ever happened.
There is no corpse, for one thing. All we have is a hearsay account from some drunks on a party boat. No grounds for a warrant there" I said.

Then he drops the big one on me.
"Well, there is always the video" he tells me in a voice that is turning evil.
A chill ran up my neck. My throat got dry. Plus I was momentary speechless.
"Video? Who the hell took video? No way." I demanded.
I could sense a smile in his voice as he began talking.
"While you were busy playing Ricky Rambo the shark assassin, I was doing my best Geraldo Rivera imitation.
I was being an investigative journalist. Got it all bro. And wait til you see the edited version.
I got you walking around waving your pistol, terrorizing those poor ladies.
They are screaming in fear. Fear of you."
I was incredulous now."You are efing crazy dude! They were screaming at the shark, not me you idiot!"
"Now, now, just calm down Mr. Truckdriver. The tape doesn't lie. Be surprised what a little editing can do.
This tape can be very useful to me. I'm not talking U-Tube either. I'm thinking Entertainment Tonight, or maybe Oprah.
You see, Cindi doesn't know about the tape. For the right price she never has to.
Now you have to ask yourself, what's it worth to keep this entire matter between us?"

To be continued.....

Drinking + Video =

this is like a weird version of aesop's fables. keep 'em coming lol

Thank you soonk, you too TiredDvrsWife.
I was actually just playing around. If I had known I was starting a series, I would have laid a better foundation, and a better title.
I'm actually in the middle of a more serious full length novel that I am preparing for submission and hopefully publication.
I'll do some on here as I have time. A little creative distraction may actually keep my focus a little fresher on the other project.

Voice in my head

Crap, crap, crap. What have I done now? I should have never started messing around with that young chick.
Nah, ain't her fault. Like the old saying goes "I knew it was a snake when I picked it up".
Should have left the gun in the truck. Nah, that ain't it either. I got in that hero mood and it wouldn't have mattered anyway.
I would have used the damn flare gun. Or maybe found a harpoon on the boat somewhere.
Don't matter now anyway. Need to focus on the present. Deal with that A hole Chad.
I don't have the kind of money he's gonna want, I know that much.
Ain't selling this truck to raise it either, that's for sure.

What if there isn't really a video at all? Maybe he's bluffing.
No, I doubt it. He wouldn't expect me to hand over the cash without me seeing that it actually exists.
What if he just made up all of that crap about Cindi? Maybe she didn't even care about the shark and her pop really isn't a game warden.
Only one person I could ask and she's not taking my calls. Probably not ever.
Even so, he could still do a lot of damage with the right media connections.
And that weasel probably knows other weasels who would be more than happy to assist.

Wait a minute here. What the hell am I thinking? Why should I play by his rules anyway?
No, forget that. Time to get proactive. Little Chad don't know who he's messin with.
Time for a plan stan.

To be continued....