FedEx Freight | Got Hit With A Dot Random **** Test Today
- Thread starter dsh69
- Start date
Crazy Trucker
Busting Clowns daily!!!!
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- 248
No awards but you do get to keep your job if it comes back clean. Lol
So where did they pee on you? Pants? Shoes? Hand? Or worse, your hat?
None of the above maybe try again next month
chitownpeddler
TB Veteran
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- 293
Well that's depressing!
I'll drink/smoke to that !
SuperCourse
It's About The Borders - Idiot
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- 734
If they find blood in your urine they'll send you for this procedure.....enjoy.
I Got a Camera Up My Dick: A Memoir
Okay,” the doctor said. “This takes thirty seconds.”
Indeed, it was very fast. And yet…men. MEN. Men, in those thirty seconds, I saw the depths of hell. I made the same face Mel Gibson does in the disemboweling scene of Braveheart. The probe was supposedly very thin, but it felt like someone was trying to cram a peach in there. Holy holy holy ****ing :
:. There was not only the pain itself but the terrible knowledge of WHERE the pain was happening. I cried out, “OH ****! SON OF A BITCH!” The nice nurse held my hand and assured me that other patients had screamed much louder, which wasn’t terribly reassuring.
“We’re done,” the doctor said.
“That’s it?”
“Unless you want me to go back in.”
“NO.”
I got up slowly and the nurse explained to me that I had to go to the bathroom to pee now. It would not be a pleasant experience, she said. There might even be some blood, which she said was normal but is TOTALLY not normal. “You’re gonna say some more bad words. But you should be back to normal by tomorrow.”
“Tomorrow?!”
“Or sooner.”
“Jesus.”
She also told me to drink a lot of fluid because if I didn’t, my urine would be more acidic and that would make pissing even more unpleasant. I staggered to the bathroom and stared down at my dick, not really wanting to **** but knowing I had to.
“Sorry, boy.”
It felt like I was pissing raw onions. Afterward, they let me get dressed and then the doc told me I was all fine. I probably just had a “lazy bladder” (his actual term and a damning indictment of both me and my inner functions), but I had to take a special prostate-shrinking supplement and come back twice a year FOR LIFE to get the jellyfinger. The stripping of my dignity will now be a regularly scheduled occurrence. This is aging.
Anyway, the catheter is now out of me, but it hasn’t left me entirely. I’m not forgetting that pain anytime soon. There are times when pain surprises you, when the shock of it is the first thing you register before the horror. I didn’t know pain had this kind of supreme power until now. I wish that all of you—men, women, children, old fogies—spend your whole lives in blissful ignorance of pain’s remarkable depth. I feel gray: my skin, my blood, my face…all of it gray and sickly. I’m gonna be grimacing for a long time, bracing myself for the off chance this pain makes itself known again. I’m just a little bit unhappier of a man than I was before.
But…there is whiskey. There is always whiskey, and there is always the hope that I can soothe my suffering and angst by telling you, good citizen, of the horrors I have endured. You are still here listening, aren’t you? Hey, where’d you go?
https://www.gq.com/story/i-got-a-camera-up-in-my-dick
I Got a Camera Up My Dick: A Memoir
Okay,” the doctor said. “This takes thirty seconds.”
Indeed, it was very fast. And yet…men. MEN. Men, in those thirty seconds, I saw the depths of hell. I made the same face Mel Gibson does in the disemboweling scene of Braveheart. The probe was supposedly very thin, but it felt like someone was trying to cram a peach in there. Holy holy holy ****ing :
:. There was not only the pain itself but the terrible knowledge of WHERE the pain was happening. I cried out, “OH ****! SON OF A BITCH!” The nice nurse held my hand and assured me that other patients had screamed much louder, which wasn’t terribly reassuring.“We’re done,” the doctor said.
“That’s it?”
“Unless you want me to go back in.”
“NO.”
I got up slowly and the nurse explained to me that I had to go to the bathroom to pee now. It would not be a pleasant experience, she said. There might even be some blood, which she said was normal but is TOTALLY not normal. “You’re gonna say some more bad words. But you should be back to normal by tomorrow.”
“Tomorrow?!”
“Or sooner.”
“Jesus.”
She also told me to drink a lot of fluid because if I didn’t, my urine would be more acidic and that would make pissing even more unpleasant. I staggered to the bathroom and stared down at my dick, not really wanting to **** but knowing I had to.
“Sorry, boy.”
It felt like I was pissing raw onions. Afterward, they let me get dressed and then the doc told me I was all fine. I probably just had a “lazy bladder” (his actual term and a damning indictment of both me and my inner functions), but I had to take a special prostate-shrinking supplement and come back twice a year FOR LIFE to get the jellyfinger. The stripping of my dignity will now be a regularly scheduled occurrence. This is aging.
Anyway, the catheter is now out of me, but it hasn’t left me entirely. I’m not forgetting that pain anytime soon. There are times when pain surprises you, when the shock of it is the first thing you register before the horror. I didn’t know pain had this kind of supreme power until now. I wish that all of you—men, women, children, old fogies—spend your whole lives in blissful ignorance of pain’s remarkable depth. I feel gray: my skin, my blood, my face…all of it gray and sickly. I’m gonna be grimacing for a long time, bracing myself for the off chance this pain makes itself known again. I’m just a little bit unhappier of a man than I was before.
But…there is whiskey. There is always whiskey, and there is always the hope that I can soothe my suffering and angst by telling you, good citizen, of the horrors I have endured. You are still here listening, aren’t you? Hey, where’d you go?
https://www.gq.com/story/i-got-a-camera-up-in-my-dick
- Credits
- 417
grand story brother
No F-bdy Bs
TB Veteran
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- 565
Unnecessary thread.
- Credits
- 417
Whatever , it was funny.
SuperCourse
It's About The Borders - Idiot
- Credits
- 734
I had the procedure, the doctor told me most guys say it ain't all that bad, but nobody volunteers for another one.
I heard Lube had it done and he told the doctor to leave some of it in there so he can use it as an “extension”.....
Had that procedure about 5 years ago,WTF,when it was over standing at the urinal almost crying and screaming like a baby.Not a pleasant experience and dont let anybody tell you its not that bad, they are full of
Clandestine_ice
TB Veteran
- Credits
- 1
I heard Lube had it done and he told the doctor to leave some of it in there so he can use it as an “extension”.....
Crazy Trucker
Busting Clowns daily!!!!
- Credits
- 248
I heard Lube had it done and he told the doctor to leave some of it in there so he can use it as an “extension”.....
What the hell happened to lube? He move to Rainbow land.
