Shifterknob
The Last Wordslinger
- Credits
- 0
Dave and Ed,
Hey, guys! Haven't seen you two much lately... if you don't count those comedic DVDs y'all have been putting out. Too funny. I really laughed hard at the bald-faced lies you two were spreading. I'm sure the idiots we employ will buy it hook, line, and sinker.
I keep hoping to run into the two of you out on the golf course, but I guess you've been a bit too busy as of late, trying to figure out how to screw our employees. I understand completely.
I heard from a buddy down Portland way that the mandatory meetings and the incessent droning on about the non-union wage and benefit plan is really starting to get under some Teamster skins. Nice job! I always enjoy seeing an artist at work, and clearly you two are making an art form out of spreading propaganda and obfuscating.
Joseph Goebbels would be proud, and probably so would der Fuerher!
Clearly we have some ungrateful, single-chormosome louts working for us. I mean, they ought to be grateful just to have a job, right? It's not like there is a driver shortage or anything... LOL! I would have loved to have seen their faces when you told them in that latest DVD how you could replace all of the wretches with a snap of the finger! I just hope they don't find out too soon about what a big lie it all is. That would be a bit embarrassing for us, huh?
I stopped by an Old Navy store yesterday wearing that cool Oak Harbor hat you gave me for my birthday two years ago (and they say the Dutch are cheap and stingy!), and the saleman asked me in a hushed, worried tone if the rumors about Oak Harbor going on strike were true.
Of course, I made sure that he understood that even if the Teamsters did go out on strike, that we had arranged for these great replacement drivers that we were shipping in from Guatemala or Malaysia or something. I informed him that I was sure their deliveries would make it on time and with no problems with such professionals behind the wheels of the Oak Harbor trucks. Of course, the greatest thing about them is that they don't speak any English and don't understand the term "s.c.a.b." when it is shouted at them by some ignorant lout of a Teamster.
Funny, though... he didn't look at all reassured.
At any rate, I just wanted to drop you a line before I headed into the dentist office. Since I'm on that great company health and welfare insurance, I had to make sure my last will and testament was up to date and that my life insurance premiums were up to date. I guess you guys imported your doctors and dentists from Guatemala too, huh? LOL! Oh, well... gotta save costs at any expense, right?
Okay, boys... if you need me to help fill in on the dock if the union walks out, let me know. Is there any way you can arrange for a plane to parachute me in to the terminal so I don't have to listen to those Neandrathal Teamsters calling me names when I cross their picket line? And perhaps some Kevlar body armor while you're at it?
You the "man"!
Love and kisses,
Shifterknob AKA Roadway Ronnie, VP of Operations
PS- Tell that idiot Mike the Director of Linehaul to shape up and fly right or I'm going to have to insert my size twelves where the sun don't shine, you dig? I'm tired of finding him sitting in his office staring vacantly into space with a string of drool hanging from his lower lip!
PSS- Hey, for my next birthday, do you think y'all could spring for an Oak Harbor jacket for me? One that actually fits this time? Thanks... you guys are peaches...
Hey, guys! Haven't seen you two much lately... if you don't count those comedic DVDs y'all have been putting out. Too funny. I really laughed hard at the bald-faced lies you two were spreading. I'm sure the idiots we employ will buy it hook, line, and sinker.
I keep hoping to run into the two of you out on the golf course, but I guess you've been a bit too busy as of late, trying to figure out how to screw our employees. I understand completely.
I heard from a buddy down Portland way that the mandatory meetings and the incessent droning on about the non-union wage and benefit plan is really starting to get under some Teamster skins. Nice job! I always enjoy seeing an artist at work, and clearly you two are making an art form out of spreading propaganda and obfuscating.
Joseph Goebbels would be proud, and probably so would der Fuerher!
Clearly we have some ungrateful, single-chormosome louts working for us. I mean, they ought to be grateful just to have a job, right? It's not like there is a driver shortage or anything... LOL! I would have loved to have seen their faces when you told them in that latest DVD how you could replace all of the wretches with a snap of the finger! I just hope they don't find out too soon about what a big lie it all is. That would be a bit embarrassing for us, huh?
I stopped by an Old Navy store yesterday wearing that cool Oak Harbor hat you gave me for my birthday two years ago (and they say the Dutch are cheap and stingy!), and the saleman asked me in a hushed, worried tone if the rumors about Oak Harbor going on strike were true.
Of course, I made sure that he understood that even if the Teamsters did go out on strike, that we had arranged for these great replacement drivers that we were shipping in from Guatemala or Malaysia or something. I informed him that I was sure their deliveries would make it on time and with no problems with such professionals behind the wheels of the Oak Harbor trucks. Of course, the greatest thing about them is that they don't speak any English and don't understand the term "s.c.a.b." when it is shouted at them by some ignorant lout of a Teamster.
Funny, though... he didn't look at all reassured.
At any rate, I just wanted to drop you a line before I headed into the dentist office. Since I'm on that great company health and welfare insurance, I had to make sure my last will and testament was up to date and that my life insurance premiums were up to date. I guess you guys imported your doctors and dentists from Guatemala too, huh? LOL! Oh, well... gotta save costs at any expense, right?
Okay, boys... if you need me to help fill in on the dock if the union walks out, let me know. Is there any way you can arrange for a plane to parachute me in to the terminal so I don't have to listen to those Neandrathal Teamsters calling me names when I cross their picket line? And perhaps some Kevlar body armor while you're at it?
You the "man"!
Love and kisses,
Shifterknob AKA Roadway Ronnie, VP of Operations
PS- Tell that idiot Mike the Director of Linehaul to shape up and fly right or I'm going to have to insert my size twelves where the sun don't shine, you dig? I'm tired of finding him sitting in his office staring vacantly into space with a string of drool hanging from his lower lip!
PSS- Hey, for my next birthday, do you think y'all could spring for an Oak Harbor jacket for me? One that actually fits this time? Thanks... you guys are peaches...
