FEDEX FREIGHT Got Hit With A Dot Random Piss Test Today

Discussion in 'Fedex Freight' started by dsh69, Aug 15, 2019.

  1. dsh69

    dsh69 Active Member

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    First time for me. Not worried about it but wondering if I get some sort of award if I pass.

    Raise?
    Bonus?
    Something stenciled on the door of my tractor?
    Hat?
    Lunch with the TM (no poppy seeds of course)
     
  2. Crazy Trucker

    Crazy Trucker Busting Clowns daily!!!!

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    No awards but you do get to keep your job if it comes back clean. Lol
     
  3. BIG R GUY

    BIG R GUY Coop Dispatch Ukraine interpreter

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    So where did they pee on you? Pants? Shoes? Hand? Or worse, your hat?
     
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  4. 00mustang

    00mustang NO LTL 4 ME CAR HAUL ONLY

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    None of the above maybe try again next month
     
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  5. chitownpeddler

    chitownpeddler Well-Known Member

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    Well that's depressing!
     
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  6. suzy1052

    suzy1052 Active Member

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    I'll drink/smoke to that !
     
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  7. SuperCourse

    SuperCourse Self Reliance Is It's Own Reward

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    If they find blood in your urine they'll send you for this procedure.....enjoy.


    I Got a Camera Up My Dick: A Memoir

    Okay,” the doctor said. “This takes thirty seconds.”

    Indeed, it was very fast. And yet…men. MEN. Men, in those thirty seconds, I saw the depths of hell. I made the same face Mel Gibson does in the disemboweling scene of Braveheart. The probe was supposedly very thin, but it felt like someone was trying to cram a peach in there. Holy holy holy :censored: :shit:. There was not only the pain itself but the terrible knowledge of WHERE the pain was happening. I cried out, “OH :censored:! SON OF A BITCH!” The nice nurse held my hand and assured me that other patients had screamed much louder, which wasn’t terribly reassuring.

    “We’re done,” the doctor said.

    “That’s it?”

    “Unless you want me to go back in.”

    “NO.”

    I got up slowly and the nurse explained to me that I had to go to the bathroom to pee now. It would not be a pleasant experience, she said. There might even be some blood, which she said was normal but is TOTALLY not normal. “You’re gonna say some more bad words. But you should be back to normal by tomorrow.”

    “Tomorrow?!”

    “Or sooner.”

    “Jesus.”

    She also told me to drink a lot of fluid because if I didn’t, my urine would be more acidic and that would make pissing even more unpleasant. I staggered to the bathroom and stared down at my dick, not really wanting to piss but knowing I had to.

    “Sorry, boy.”

    It felt like I was pissing raw onions. Afterward, they let me get dressed and then the doc told me I was all fine. I probably just had a “lazy bladder” (his actual term and a damning indictment of both me and my inner functions), but I had to take a special prostate-shrinking supplement and come back twice a year FOR LIFE to get the jellyfinger. The stripping of my dignity will now be a regularly scheduled occurrence. This is aging.

    Anyway, the catheter is now out of me, but it hasn’t left me entirely. I’m not forgetting that pain anytime soon. There are times when pain surprises you, when the shock of it is the first thing you register before the horror. I didn’t know pain had this kind of supreme power until now. I wish that all of you—men, women, children, old fogies—spend your whole lives in blissful ignorance of pain’s remarkable depth. I feel gray: my skin, my blood, my face…all of it gray and sickly. I’m gonna be grimacing for a long time, bracing myself for the off chance this pain makes itself known again. I’m just a little bit unhappier of a man than I was before.

    But…there is whiskey. There is always whiskey, and there is always the hope that I can soothe my suffering and angst by telling you, good citizen, of the horrors I have endured. You are still here listening, aren’t you? Hey, where’d you go?

    https://www.gq.com/story/i-got-a-camera-up-in-my-dick
     
  8. SMOKESTACK

    SMOKESTACK Administrator AD-FREE USER

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    grand story brother:biglaugh:
     
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  9. No F-bdy Bs

    No F-bdy Bs Well-Known Member

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    Unnecessary thread.
     
  10. SMOKESTACK

    SMOKESTACK Administrator AD-FREE USER

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    Whatever , it was funny.
     
  11. SuperCourse

    SuperCourse Self Reliance Is It's Own Reward

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    I had the procedure, the doctor told me most guys say it ain't all that bad, but nobody volunteers for another one.
     
  12. Big Dave

    Big Dave I love Ridge Sox popcorn

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    I heard Lube had it done and he told the doctor to leave some of it in there so he can use it as an “extension”.....:17142:
     
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  13. 52FARMER

    52FARMER Active Member

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    Had that procedure about 5 years ago,WTF,when it was over standing at the urinal almost crying and screaming like a baby.Not a pleasant experience and dont let anybody tell you its not that bad, they are full of :shhit::shhit::shhit:
     
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  14. Clandestine_ice

    Clandestine_ice Well-Known Member

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    you were in diapers
    :732:
     
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  15. Crazy Trucker

    Crazy Trucker Busting Clowns daily!!!!

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    What the hell happened to lube? He move to Rainbow land.
     
  16. suzy1052

    suzy1052 Active Member

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    [​IMG]
    Are you saying he's sporting some new mudflaps ?
     

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