Off-Topic Joke Thread
- Thread starter Wrench97
- Start date
Need to add, road maps, clocks with hands, and common sense.
An old, Italian man lived alone in New Jersey. He wanted to plant his annual tomato garden, but it was very difficult work, as the ground was hard. His only son, Vincent, who used to help him, was in prison. The old man wrote a letter to his son and described his predicament:
Dear Vincent,
I am feeling pretty sad, because it looks like I won't be able to plant my tomato garden this year. I'm just getting too old to be digging up a garden plot. I know if you were here my troubles would be over. I know you would be happy to dig the plot for me, like in the old days.
Love, Papa
A few days later he received a letter from his son:
Dear Pop,
Don't dig up that garden. That's where the bodies are buried.
Love, Vinnie
At 4 a.m. the next morning, FBI agents and local police arrived and dug up the entire area without finding any bodies. They apologized to the old man and left. That same day the old man received another letter from his son.
Dear Pop,
Go ahead and plant the tomatoes now. That's the best I could do under the circumstances.
Love you, Vinnie
Dear Vincent,
I am feeling pretty sad, because it looks like I won't be able to plant my tomato garden this year. I'm just getting too old to be digging up a garden plot. I know if you were here my troubles would be over. I know you would be happy to dig the plot for me, like in the old days.
Love, Papa
A few days later he received a letter from his son:
Dear Pop,
Don't dig up that garden. That's where the bodies are buried.
Love, Vinnie
At 4 a.m. the next morning, FBI agents and local police arrived and dug up the entire area without finding any bodies. They apologized to the old man and left. That same day the old man received another letter from his son.
Dear Pop,
Go ahead and plant the tomatoes now. That's the best I could do under the circumstances.
Love you, Vinnie
I stopped at a local bar last night and sat down beside this gorgeous blond lady.
We started a conversation when out of nowhere she sneezed and out popped her glass eye.
Me being quick as a cat, caught it in mid-air.
She said I'm so embarrassed I can't stay here, why don't we go to my place and have our drink.
Me, being a Southern gentleman couldn't say no.
We had a few drinks, she fixed a nice meal, I won't go into detail about the night.
The next morning she fixed breakfast, I asked her why she was so nice to me.
She said well, to be honest, you just happened to catch my eye.
We started a conversation when out of nowhere she sneezed and out popped her glass eye.
Me being quick as a cat, caught it in mid-air.
She said I'm so embarrassed I can't stay here, why don't we go to my place and have our drink.
Me, being a Southern gentleman couldn't say no.
We had a few drinks, she fixed a nice meal, I won't go into detail about the night.
The next morning she fixed breakfast, I asked her why she was so nice to me.
She said well, to be honest, you just happened to catch my eye.
When you left, did you say “See ya around” and did she reply “I’ll keep an eye out for ya”??…
“Thank you, thank you…..I’ll be here all week at the Scranton Bowl O Rama”……
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That’s residence building 15 on the Clarence Campus…..guess who‘s family pretty much took it over???…….
Johnny & Sherry Wong had a Caucasian kid at birth. Johnny said " I thought two Wongs don't make a white "
But wasn’t it their 5th kid????……
Steward of the Rock
TB Veteran
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Where exactly is Caucasia located?
I can’t seem to find it on my globe!!!
I assumed it would be somewhere around Wongolia!!!
Last edited:
You're wong again, sorry.
Isn’t it that neighborhood in west LR where they have those Daihatsus up on blocks??…….
Steward of the Rock
TB Veteran
- Credits
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In that neighborhood, they are referred to as “Bwoks”, not “Blocks”!!!
