Cancel your credit card before you die.
Be sure and cancel your credit cards before you die! This is so priceless, and so easy to see happening, customer service being what it is today.
A lady died this past January, and Citibank billed her for February and March for their annual service charges on her credit card, and added late fees and interest on the monthly charge. The balance had been $0.00 when she died, but now somewhere around $60.00. A family member placed a call to Citibank.
Here is the exchange:
Family Member: I am calling to tell you she died back in January.
Citibank: The account was never closed and the late fees and charges still apply.
Family Member: Maybe you should turn it over to collections.
Citibank: Since it is two months past due, it already has been.
Family Member: So, what will they do when they find out she is dead?
Citibank: Either report her account to frauds division or report her to the credit bureau, maybe both!
Family Member: Do you think God will be mad at her?
Citibank: Excuse me?
Family Member: Did you just get what I was telling you, the part about her being dead?
Citibank: Sir, you'll have to speak to my supervisor.
Supervisor gets on the phone:
Family Member: I'm calling to tell you, she died back in January with a $0 balance.
Citibank: The account was never closed and late fees and charges still apply.
Family Member: You mean you want to collect from her estate?
Citibank: (Stammer) Are you her lawyer?
Family Member: No, I'm her great nephew.
(Lawyer info was given)
Citibank: Could you fax us a certificate of death?
Family Member: Sure. (Fax number was given)
After they get the fax:
Citibank: Our system just isn't setup for death. I don't know what more I can do to help.
Family Member: Well, if you figure it out, great! If not, you could just keep billing her. She won't care.
Citibank: Well, the late fees and charges will still apply.
(What is wrong with these people)
Family Member: Would you like her new billing address?
Citibank: That might help.
Family Member: Odessa Memorial Cemetery , Highway 129, Plot Number 69.
Citibank: Sir, that's a cemetery!
Family Member: And what do you do with dead people on your planet?
And you wondered why Citibank needed help from the Feds?
After having their 11th child, an Alabama couple decided that was enough, as they could not afford a larger bed. So the husband went to his veterinarian and told him that he and his cousin didn't want to have any more children.
The doctor told him that there was a procedure called a vasectomy that could fix the problem but that it was expensive. A less costly alternative, said the doctor, was to go home, get a cherry bomb (fireworks are legal in Alabama), light it, put it in a beer can, then hold the can up to his ear and count to 10.
The Alabamian said to the doctor, "I may not be the smartest man in the world, but I don't see how putting a cherry bomb in a beer can next to my ear is going to help me".
"Trust me," said the doctor.
So the man went home, lit a cherry bomb and put it in a beer can. He held the can up to his ear and began to count:
At which point he paused, placed the beer can between his legs, an resumed counting on his other hand.
This procedure also works in Kentucky, Mississippi, and West Virginia. LOL