Off-Topic Joke Thread

[Triplex]

What's the difference between an oral thermometer and a
rectal thermometer?

The taste.

I thought the answer was "the sensation".

 

[vongrimmenstein]

Know why driving a big truck in bad weather is like licking pu***? When it gets wet & slick out, ya gotta slow down before you run in to a a** hole. von.

 

[twisted-hippie]

Coop employee .

 

[BIG R GUY]

Coop employee .

Looks like Seabreeze with one of Donna’s boots. He usually wears them.

 

[twisted-hippie]

Looks like Seabreeze with one of Donna’s boots. He usually wears them.

Thanks for clarifying that.......some on here might think that was wongway.

 

[vongrimmenstein]

Coop employee .

Mama is goint to be ****** come the first snowfall. von.

 

[twisted-hippie]

 

[Stimpy]

That is like the scrooge or grinch of Halloween..... lol

 

[twisted-hippie]

Think there might be a "crack" problem at the Coop !

 

[BIG R GUY]

Chinese replacement mirrors.

 

[twisted-hippie]

 

[seabreeze]

Think there might be a "crack" problem at the Coop !

Damn man, don't you know crack kills?

 

[seabreeze]

My wife said "we need to talk about things"
We were discussing the future, when it was my turn I asked her, "What will you do if I die before you?"
She said, "I'd probably look for a house sharing situation with 3 other single or widowed women who might be a little younger than myself"
"What will you do if I die first?" she asked.
Last thing I remember saying was, "probably the same thing"

 

[vongrimmenstein]

I gotta ask. Is that commode 2 cycle or 4 cycle? von.

 

[Triplex]

I gotta ask. Is that commode 2 cycle or 4 cycle? von.

It's probably hit-and-miss.

 

[twisted-hippie]

 

[twisted-hippie]

 

[wongway]

Now that's a -15% savings repair job !!!

 

[Big Dave]

Now that's a -15% savings repair job !!!

But 15% more effort to flush??

 

[Stimpy]

I'm going to have to mount the seat like that when my mother inlaw shows up....lol