Off-Topic Joke Thread

[Triplex]

My new favorite tee-shirt....

 

[Wrench97]

I guess that makes me one too.......................................

 

[twisted-hippie]

 

[wongway]

True Craigslist ad, they say Car for sale just needs a new motor & trans , Cheap fix , $1995.00 firm

 

[twisted-hippie]

 

[twisted-hippie]

 

[twisted-hippie]

John Deer's new Bloomberg corn planter!

 

[twisted-hippie]

 

[seabreeze]

Several men were in the golf club locker room when a cell phone on a bench rings, a man engages the hands free speaker and begins to talk, everyone in the room stops and listens.
Man, "hello"
Woman, "hi honey, it's me, are you at the club?"
"yes"
Woman, "I found this beautiful coat, it's only $200, ok if I buy it?"
"Sure, if you like it, buy it"
"I also stopped by the Lexus dealership and saw one I really like for $90k"
"For that price, we want one with all the options"
Woman "I saw Jane today, she said the house I like is back on the market for $980,000"
" Offer them $900,000, if they don't accept, we can come up with the rest"
Woman " I love you so much, I'll see you later"
"Bye, love you too"
He hangs up the phone, looks around and says, "anyone know who owns this phone?"

 

[Triplex]

Several men were in the golf club locker room when a cell phone on a bench rings, a man engages the hands free speaker and begins to talk, everyone in the room stops and listens.
Man, "hello"
Woman, "hi honey, it's me, are you at the club?"
"yes"
Woman, "I found this beautiful coat, it's only $200, ok if I buy it?"
"Sure, if you like it, buy it"
"I also stopped by the Lexus dealership and saw one I really like for $90k"
"For that price, we want one with all the options"
Woman "I saw Jane today, she said the house I like is back on the market for $980,000"
" Offer them $900,000, if they don't accept, we can come up with the rest"
Woman " I love you so much, I'll see you later"
"Bye, love you too"
He hangs up the phone, looks around and says, "anyone know who owns this phone?"

Phone probably belonged to someone on TB who is still upset about the -15%.

 

[mud]

What’s the difference between a garbanzo bean and a chickpea?

I bet you never heard of someone paying $20 to have a garbanzo bean on their face.

 

[Triplex]

What’s the difference between a garbanzo bean and a chickpea?

I bet you never heard of someone paying $20 to have a garbanzo bean on their face.

Only $20? Around here it usually costs $40.

 

[Toby]

Do you know why everyone is hording TP during this virus outbreak?

Because when one person sneezes, Five people crap their pants.

 

[Stimpy]

Do you know why everyone is hording TP during this virus outbreak?

Because when one person sneezes, Five people crap their pants.

https://www.truckingboards.com/bb/threads/jokes.71056/page-69#post-1479631

 

[twisted-hippie]

Mud gonna have to retrain for these new equipment models .

 

[mud]

 

[Triplex]

 

[Triplex]

 

[Triplex]

 

[twisted-hippie]

Paging Dr Wong