Off-Topic Joke Thread

[twisted-hippie]

Please let us know what company you drive for. Then we can tell them they have a driver with so much forward thinking. von.

I'm retired.......live on a "herb plantation" .

 

[vongrimmenstein]

I'm retired.......live on a "herb plantation" .

I gotta ask. What kind of herb? von.

 

[Triplex]

I gotta ask. What kind of herb? von.

Shriner of course. (Although few will understand what I'm talking about I'm sure).

 

[twisted-hippie]

I gotta ask. What kind of herb? von.

Green ones.

 

[BIG R GUY]

Hey partner. Big Dave dispatched us with this load of LED lights.

 

[vongrimmenstein]

Hey partner. Big Dave dispatched us with this load of LED lights.

What am I looking @. And. how did it happen. von.

 

[mud]

 

[Triplex]

Payday candy bar is changing its name because it's offensive to those who don't work.

 

[twisted-hippie]

 

[mud]

 

[twisted-hippie]

Just what everybody needs!

 

[Puff Driver]

Excellent

 

[seabreeze]

My son was flunking out of college, so I told him you will marry the girl I choose.
He said, NO
I told him she is Bill Gates's daughter.
He said YES
I called Bill gates and said, I want your daughter to marry my son.
He said NO
I told him, my son is the CEO of the bank of the world.
Bill said YES
I called the president of the World Bank and asked him to make my son CEO.
He said NO
I told him my son was Bill Gates son-in-law
He said OK
And that's how politics work.
And thus began the practice of hiring morons to work influential positions of government.
This practice remains unbroken to this day.

 

[twisted-hippie]

 

[twisted-hippie]

 

[vongrimmenstein]

The look on her face says it all. von.

 

[vongrimmenstein]

My son was flunking out of college, so I told him you will marry the girl I choose.
He said, NO
I told him she is Bill Gates's daughter.
He said YES
I called Bill gates and said, I want your daughter to marry my son.
He said NO
I told him, my son is the CEO of the bank of the world.
Bill said YES
I called the president of the World Bank and asked him to make my son CEO.
He said NO
I told him my son was Bill Gates son-in-law
He said OK
And that's how politics work.
And thus began the practice of hiring morons to work influential positions of government.
This practice remains unbroken to this day.

Coud not have been said any better. von.

 

[vongrimmenstein]

Maybe I hit the Vicodin a little to much today, but, she looks like an actress I have seen in movies. Or is my mind still in orbit? von.

 

[vongrimmenstein]

With lips like hers, I think she is waiting for insertion of an unknown object. von.

 

[twisted-hippie]