Off-Topic Joke Thread

[Wrench97]

I was watching the news and saw a live report about a lunatic driving the wrong way on Rt.81. I called my wife to tell her to be careful because I knew she was on that highway. She said “I know! It’s not just one guy it’s hundreds of them.”

 

[Elwood]

Should we have a sub joke thread for Dad jokes only, in celebration?

When does a joke turn into a ‘Dad’ joke?
When it’s apparent.

 

[seabreeze]

Back in the 70s a guy in a new Vette had a flat in front of St Elizabeth’s Hospital for the mentally ill. In his haste to get back on the road he dropped the lug nuts down the sewer. He sat bewildered until a guy watching from inside the fence told him to take one nut from the other three wheels to get him on his way. The owner exclaimed, “great idea”, what are you doing in that place. The patient replied, “I’m crazy, not stupid”.

I think that must have been the same guy who asked me what was I going to do with the load of manure I had on my truck.
I told him I was putting it on my strawberries.
He said and, they call me crazy, I put whip cream on mine!

 

[Wrench97]

I asked my wife if she wanted something that went from 0-150 in 2 seconds.....................
I then gave her a scale...............................
Hopefully I'll be back to work in a few weeks the doctor says I should be ok by then............

 

[twisted-hippie]

 

[Elwood]

 

[pjl251]

That’s how they unloaded potatoes in Fall River, MA at Frito Lay plant. (Long time ago)

 

[twisted-hippie]

 

[twisted-hippie]

 

[seabreeze]

That reminds me, I haven't been flashed since my trucking days.

 

[Big Dave]

That reminds me, I haven't been flashed since my trucking days.

 

[seabreeze]

Can't say that any longer!

 

[Triplex]

Can't say that any longer!

Even the blue footed version?

 

[twisted-hippie]

 

[twisted-hippie]

WOW, Nice air intakes!

 

[Elwood]

WOW, Nice air intakes!

Nice blower, too!

 

[Forkinhilo]

WOW, Nice air intakes!

I wonder what the tail pipe looks like???

 

[Steward of the Rock]

WOW, Nice air intakes!

I never knew that the '69 Camaro came with air bags!! Must have been an after market install.

 

[useless]

WOW, Nice air intakes!

headlights look pretty good to me

 

[Big Dave]

I never knew that the '69 Camaro came with air bags!! Must have been an after market install.

68!!
Sorry, Stew. Didn’t mean to get all uppity there. I’m jonesing for more car shows here…