Off-Topic Joke Thread

So as long as we're picking on the old folks.................


On his 90th birthday, an elderly man answers his door to find a sexy prostitute at his door. She says your friends hired me to offer you "Super Sex".

The old man ponders for a second then says: " I'll take the soup"
I told her to not mention that if it gets back to TB
I'd be the laughing stock of the freight haulers.
 
So as long as we're picking on the old folks.................


On his 90th birthday, an elderly man answers his door to find a sexy prostitute at his door. She says your friends hired me to offer you "Super Sex".

The old man ponders for a second then says: " I'll take the soup"
How about soup first, then sex!
 
Four guys sitting at the lake fishing.
Fisherman 1 says : Heck it was difficult this morning to come out fishing. I had to promise the wife I will spend the next couple of weekends to repaint the inside of the house!
Fisherman 2 : That's nothing. I had to promise the wife I will install the Jacuzzi she wanted for such a long time.
Fisherman 3 : What? You came of easy. I had to promise the wife I will take my Christmas bonus and have the kitchen remodeled.

After some silence, Fisherman 1 says the the 4th fisherman: How about you, Mate? Did you have any trouble?
Fisherman 4 : No, not at all. I set the alarm for 4:30 this morning. After it went off I lied still for a few minutes when the wife said: Well, the alarm went off 10 minutes ago so surely you are planning something. So what is it? Well I replied, I was contemplating compassionate loving or go fishing. The wife turned round and said: Well then, have fun at the lake.......................
 
Nah, only about 200 yards. Pentachlorophenol, used to be used to treat telephone poles. Dangerous to anyone who ate telephone poles for lunch (or supper).
I heard breeze would inject Penta before hooking a jif and his muscles in his arms would grow at least an inch……or some muscle did……either way his wife was happy the next day….
 
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