Off-Topic Joke Thread

A sixteen year-old boy came home with a brand new Ford F150. His parents look at the truck and ask, “Where did you get that truck?!”

“I bought it today,” he says.

“With what money?” says his mother. They knew what a new F150 cost.

“Well,” he says, “this one cost me just fifteen dollars.”

The father looks at him like he’s crazy. “Who would sell a truck like that for fifteen dollars?” he says.

“It was the lady up the street,” says the boy. “I don’t know her name – they just moved in. She saw me ride past on my bike and asked me if I wanted to buy her F150 for fifteen dollars.

“Oh my Goodness!” says the mother. “Maybe she’s mentally ill or has Alzheimer’s something. John, you better go see what’s going on.”

So the boy’s father walks up the street to the house where the lady lives and finds her out in the yard calmly planting petunias. He introduces himself as the father of the boy to whom she had sold a new Ford F150 truck for fifteen dollars and asks to know why she did it.

“Well,” she says, “two days ago my husband left on a business trip. Yesterday I got a phone call from his boss and found out that he really ran off to Hawaii with his secretary and doesn’t intend to come back.”

“Oh, my goodness, I’m so sorry,” the father says. “But what does that have to do with my son and your truck?”

“Well, this morning he called and told me he was stranded because he got robbed of his wallet with all his credit cards and cash. He told me to sell his new F150 and send him the money. So I did.”
$15 bucks , wow , she knew the Wong price for sure !!:lmao:
 
Heres a little one... Fauci at the end of his useful life hawking death jabs...

"Ok Mr Fauci, sit up time for your shot..."

"Oh goody... goody... I love shots..."

BOOM!

And that would be that.
 
We had a gal all in red. Silk too head to toe. (Spike heels and ribboned tresses and all that jewelry crap. Probably cost 2.00 at goodwill.)

My head snapped around and measured her by eye evaluating her as a female. Wife did not like that one bit.

Lets just say it was a very cold week at home. It took a hell of alot of honey damn its to sooth her feathers.
 
We had a gal all in red. Silk too head to toe. (Spike heels and ribboned tresses and all that jewelry crap. Probably cost 2.00 at goodwill.)

My head snapped around and measured her by eye evaluating her as a female. Wife did not like that one bit.

Lets just say it was a very cold week at home. It took a hell of alot of honey damn its to sooth her feathers.
Luckily, my wife loves Harbor Freight. Bought her a auto darkening welding helmet after I spent approximately $360.00 on welding gear. She loves it but folks look at her kinda strange when she goes to town now.
 
So they couldn't hire CDL yard guys , so this new guy & yard horse started today & keep em from going over 46 mph in the yard too !!!
277307131_10227503889680569_7190773566079353325_n.jpg
 
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