Off-Topic Joke Thread

Jill hired someone to get Biden going in the morning. Its seem that age is catching up to the late bastard.

Hello Jill, My name is Fang Fang. In spirit. Recently departed. Where is this sluggard you hired me to get going?

Jill: Here he is. Snoring away. Half the white house is lined up at the door waiting on him.

Fang Fang: *SNIFF*
Kamala shows up at the Unemployment Office. The people in line ignored her completely.

She sits at the case workers desk with a inch of paper work. Case worker shuffles some and then asked her.....

"Why are you unemployed from the Office of the President Ms. Kamala?"

They say I giggled when I touched the button for nuclear things.
30 years ago, it took many Iraqis to figure out how to change a light bulb in a city in which none will work. (Power system grid bombed out)

Persistent in their quest to learn how to screw in a light bulb they immigrate to America on H1b and have Americans hire them to change light bulbs in their houses today.

American: Oh good, you are here to change the bad bulbs.

Iraqi: Oh yes. Dollars please. Thank you. Heres bulb, teach me to change it please."
26.5 leaded. Mobil.

I remember a relative pulling up in a barge with a 30 gallon tank on friday after work. One dollar please (About 4 gallons and a skosh for the weekend)

Minimum wage was 1.25 or so then. I get iffy that far back. A 4 bed two story home 30K etc.

If minimum wage today should be able to buy 4 gallons and a skosh of gasoline, it needs to be in the realm of about 25.00 a hour.

I remember the smells of that gasoline and other fuels to this day. Awesome memories.

The arab oil embargo came along. Not a problem. 5.00 gasoline in the datsun for a week or so. It finally wore out at 100,000 miles in about roughly... 12 years. All we did to it was throw in a clutch plate, points (Try that youngsters....) tires now and then and a dab of oil and battery fluids in summer under the shade tree. The frame finally failed and started inventing really scary noises as the metal screeches in pain on the failing welds on that bad concrete.
I always told myself that a pretty girl standing on my fuel tank asking for a commerical date (Older 80's term) is a bride too pretty and I must being decieved and must not partake of the goods. I'll leave it at that.

That was then.

Today you get effermite males standing on the fuel tank wondering the same thing. That usually leads to problems with the Law getting involved sometimes. Now fast forward to today its getting almost the point at which YOU are the one hauled away.

I worked for a greek tightfisted bastard in a tiny village off a two lane. We had like three pumps. Two multigrade gas and one desiel up there in that :shit:hole. A few hours a day goes by he stands on my boots demanding the wad of cash in my pocket which came out to thousands sometimes. Several times a shift.

Fortunately he had a closing hour so one way or another Im going home that day sometime. The people were less than nice in those days. Because they hated the bastard. I was not worthy of their notice or time except at the time to pay me for the gas. I lasted maybe three weeks. I thought it was good to quit working for him before something really bad came up. I dont get paid enough in those days for that kind of trouble.

I remember a truckstop NE of Atlanta on I think 85. Below the Cherokee I think. Anyway, 45 fuel pumps feeding 45 semi trucks at the same time in rush hour hundreds of gallons each in 10 minutes or less with 5 or more trucks lined up waiting to fuel constantly behind all 45 truck pumps.

One female, about mid 20's running the fuel desk by herself. I had to stand there for 20 minutes and watch. The parade of drivers from all over the world with dozens of payment systems and accounts from all over north America coming through both doors. Pay her, leave.

I tried to count the fuel going out. But gave up when I spotted two tanker trucks unloading nearby into the below ground tanks. I counted those instead. Looks to be about a minimum of 150,000 gallons capacity if that in a number of 10,000 gallon tanks. A small fleet of tanker trucks was hustling fuel in daycabs feeding that truckstop.

I left thinking I was in the wrong kind of money schlepping oranges from Florida for some backwater town in Pennsylvania for two days and a thousand miles. What am I doing that at 28 cents a mile pay. What a waste.
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