Off-Topic Joke Thread

Buck Rogers, (Richard) Tracey or Green Hornet maybe....
Gene Autry? Did he hang with Artemis Gordon?

Might you be confused?


I remember the name Artemis Gordon, but it's not ringing a bell.
This ring is more sophisticated than mine, mine was the alphabet backward
Can't remember if it was Gene Autry or whose.
BTW, not the first time I've been confused.
 
:usa:
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Trucker walks into a brothel and is greeted by an old lady with a glass eye
She says sorry all the girls are busy tonight but I'll take care of you.

He isn't too sure and kind of starts backing out.

She grabs his hand and says "come on, it'll be fun, I'll pop my eye out and you can screw me in my eye socket."

This grosses him out and he tries to leave again but she convinces him it'll feel amazing so he goes for it.

So they're finishing up and she asks him how he liked it. He says "yeah, not too bad... that was pretty good. I'll have to come back and do that again next time I'm in town!"

She says "okay, I'll keep an eye out for you!"
 
Celebrity talking duck retires to small town in U.P. First day he goes to local general store. Asks the proprietor “Got any duck food?” No, is the response. Next day duck goes to same store, “Got any duck food?” No, is the response. Third day duck goes to same store, “Got any duck food?” Irritated, owner responds “If you come in here looking for duck food one more time, I’m going to nail your flat f’n feet to the floor.
Next day, duck walks in “Got any nails?” , No; “Got any duck food?”
 
A truck driver sees a naked man tied to a tree off to the side of the road.
He pulls his rig to the side and approaches the man. The man says to him, "Oh, thank God you're here. I pulled into a gas station to get some gas. I was robbed at gun point, thrown into the trunk of my car and then driven here. Then they stripped me of all of my clothes, took my wedding ring and drove off."

The truck driver shook his head, lowered his fly and said, "This just isn't your day, is it."
 
A truck driver sees a naked man tied to a tree off to the side of the road.
He pulls his rig to the side and approaches the man. The man says to him, "Oh, thank God you're here. I pulled into a gas station to get some gas. I was robbed at gun point, thrown into the trunk of my car and then driven here. Then they stripped me of all of my clothes, took my wedding ring and drove off."

The truck driver shook his head, lowered his fly and said, "This just isn't your day, is it."

Deliverance Express??
 
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