A horse walked into the same bar. The bartender asked him, “why the long face”?A weasel walks into a bar. The bartender says, “Wow, I’ve never served a weasel before. What can I get you?” “Pop,” goes the weasel..
Was this on a Thursday??…A horse walked into the same bar. The bartender asked him, “why the long face”?
Little, Bast### ?And so it went with every question the principal thought a bright 3rd grader should know.
The principal looks at Ms. Brooks and tells her, 'You know, I reckon Harry can go to the 3rdgrade.'
But Ms. Brooks is still skeptical of the little bugger and says to the principal, 'Not so fast, let me ask him a few questions.. ' The principal and Harry both agree.
Ms. Brooks asks, 'What does a cow have four of that I have only two of?'
Harry, after a moment: 'Legs..'
Ms. Brooks: 'What is in your pants that you have but I do not have?'
The principal wondered why would she ask such a question.
Harry replied: 'Pockets’ ... to the Principal’s great relief...
Ms. Brooks: 'What does a dog do that a man steps into? ' Harry: 'Pants.'
By now, the principal is sitting forward with his mouth hanging open..
Ms. Brooks: 'What does a man do standing up, a woman does sitting down and a dog does on three legs?'
Harry: 'Shake hands.'
The principal is now trembling with apprehension as Ms. Brooks asks the last question......
Ms. Brooks: 'What word starts with an 'F' and ends in 'K' and indicates a great deal of heat and excitement?'
Harry: 'Firetruck.'
The principal breaths a huge sigh of relief and tells the teacher, " Put the little **** in 5th-Grade, I got the last five questions wrong myself .."
After dinner was over, one guest asked Jeffery Dahmer for dessert. He said he had Ben & Jerry in the freezerLittle, Bast### ?
I once had a macho rooster that killed all my hens breeding. He was very well endowed. One day, as I was driving home, I noticed him laying on the side of the road on his back, both feet in the air, eyes closed and his tongue hanging out. I pulled over to make sure it was him and it was. As I stood over him, I said “well after killing all of my chickens, you finally got what you deserved”. He opened one eye, looked at me and said “shhhhhh. Buzzards”.I paid $14000 for a registered Angus bull.
I'm gonna make a bundle selling high-dollar breeding stock.
For 3 days my bull didn't know any cows were in the pasture, he totally ignored them.
I said to myself, "self you've bought a gay bull.
I called the vet to check my bull.
He said he's fine, maybe a little young, and gave him some little blue pills.
In 2 days he had bred every cow I owned, tore down my fence, and bred all my neighbor's cows.
I don't know what was in those pills, but they did the job.
They tasted kinda like peppermint.