TRUCKING Jokes

Discussion in 'The Drivers Lounge' started by Stimpy, Nov 11, 2015.

  1. Stimpy

    Stimpy Wingnut

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    Inspiring thought for the golden agers...

     
  2. a9faninnc

    a9faninnc Super Moderator Staff Member

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    [​IMG]
     
  3. Stimpy

    Stimpy Wingnut

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    [​IMG]
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  4. pro1driver

    pro1driver I am LOST

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    or at summer camp....

    it's a rather LOOONG story.....
     
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  5. seabreeze

    seabreeze Not Well Known Member, 60 Year Teamster Member

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    A little girl was talking to her teacher about whales, teacher said it was physically impossible for a whale to swallow a human, because eventhough they are very large, their throat is too smale to swallow a human.
    The teacher was irritated when the girl said, "Jonah was swallowed by a whale'
    The little girl said when "I get to heaven, I'll ask Jonah"
    The teacher said, "what if Jonah went to hell?"
    The girl replied, "Then you ask him."
     
  6. seabreeze

    seabreeze Not Well Known Member, 60 Year Teamster Member

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    The children had all been photographed, and the teacher was trying to persuade them each to buy a group picture.
    Just think how nice it will be to look at it when you're grown and say, there's Mary, she's a lawyer, or that's Billy, he's a doctor.
    A small voice at the back of the room rang out, "and there's the teacher, she's dead"
     
  7. Cerberus_Kelpie

    Cerberus_Kelpie Well-Known Member

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    Do tell. It's not like you're being rushed since you've a lot of TIME on your hands and it couldn't be any goofier than the tripe of Grocerythrower and RickyRicardo last decade. (RR claimed to be a guy, then a girl, then got offended. GT was a Food Dude)...........Their stories involved switching clothes, handcuffs and the rest of their events are classified...................end of line:butt kiss: :couch: :eck13: :stirthepot:
     
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  8. pro1driver

    pro1driver I am LOST

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    ain't heard from G/R or R/R in ages.......
     
  9. pro1driver

    pro1driver I am LOST

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    i may have to take another nap in between paragraphs..

    it's tough being me.......
     
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  10. Big Dave

    Big Dave Proud father of Moses the umpire

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    Was it Band Camp???
     
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  11. pro1driver

    pro1driver I am LOST

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    i think a form of "banding" was used..???
     
  12. Stimpy

    Stimpy Wingnut

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  13. Stimpy

    Stimpy Wingnut

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  14. seabreeze

    seabreeze Not Well Known Member, 60 Year Teamster Member

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    Cop stopped me yesterday, asked "have you been drinking beer? I smell it on your breath"
    "Nope, been eating froglegs, you smell hops"
     
  15. seabreeze

    seabreeze Not Well Known Member, 60 Year Teamster Member

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    At my age, rolling out of bed in the morning is the easy part, getting back up off the floor, now thats another story.
     
  16. seabreeze

    seabreeze Not Well Known Member, 60 Year Teamster Member

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    Marcel tells Bubba, " my friend ran over his wife's foot with his pickup, I've never heard such a horrific scream"
    Bubba said, "my neighbor was on a hunting trip, had to take a dump, squatted down, caught his sack in a bear trap"
    'My gosh", said Marcel, "that had to be the most bloodcurdling scream possible"
    "Not really" said Bubba.
    "What could possibly beat that?" asked Marcel.
    "When the slack came out of the chain!"
     
  17. Stimpy

    Stimpy Wingnut

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    The parrot is dead


    At dawn the telephone rings, "Hello, Señor Bob? This is Ernesto, the caretaker
    at your country house in Palm Desert.”
    "Ah yes, Ernesto. What can I do for you? Is there a problem?”
    "Um, I am just calling to advise you, Señor Bob, that your parrot, he is dead”.
    "My parrot? Dead? The one that won the International competition?”
    "Si, Señor, that's the one.”
    "That's a pity! I spent a small fortune on that bird. What did he die from?”
    "From eating the rotten meat, Señor Bob .”
    "Rotten meat? Who the hell fed him rotten meat?”
    "Nobody, Señor. He ate the meat of the dead horse.”
    "Dead horse? What dead horse?”
    "The thoroughbred, Señor Bob ..”
    "My prize thoroughbred is dead?“
    "Yes, Señor Bob , he died from all that work pulling the water cart.”
    "Are you insane? What water cart?”
    "The one we used to put out the fire, Señor.”
    "Good Lord! What fire are you talking about, man?”
    "The one at your house, Señor! A candle fell and the curtains caught on fire.”
    "What the hell? Are you saying that my mansion is destroyed because of a candle?!”
    "Yes, Señor Bob ..”
    "But there's electricity at the house! What was the candle for?”
    "For the funeral, Señor Bob .”
    "WHAT FUNERAL??!!”
    "Your wife's, Señor Bob, Senora Bev . She showed up very late one night and I thought
    she was a thief, so I hit her with your new Ping G410 titanium head golf club with the
    TFC 149D graphite shaft.”
    SILENCE………..
    LONG SILENCE………
    VERY LONG SILENCE…………
    "Ernesto, if you broke that driver, you're in deep :shit:."
     
  18. Stimpy

    Stimpy Wingnut

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    [​IMG]

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  19. Joseph1135

    Joseph1135 Well-Known Member

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    [​IMG]
    This is a joke.
     

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