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ABF | Not Much Going On Right Now?

vongrimmenstein said:
Ok, try this. Why are hairdressers never late to work? They know all the shortcuts. How am I doing? von.
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well...kinda like (one of my all time favorite jokes--and if it offends anyone, my bad)

Did you hear about the 2 lesbians building a house together?
There is not a single STUD in it.
It is all tongue in groove!
-------------------
(Oh well...hope its not near the coast or in the midwestern plains)l
 
6PakAbs said:
well...kinda like (one of my all time favorite jokes--and if it offends anyone, my bad)

Did you hear about the 2 lesbians building a house together?
There is not a single STUD in it.
It is all tongue in groove!
-------------------
(Oh well...hope its not near the coast or in the midwestern plains)l
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What do lesbians and mechanics have in common...….They both use snap on tools
 
canaryinthemine said:
I've been told I have two parts to my Brain......The Right half and the Left half......

In the Left half,...there's nothing Right,...and in the Right half, there's nothing Left.......
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So, are you saying your brain has as much substance inside it as a ping pong ball? Could not help myself, you opened the door for me. von.
 
vongrimmenstein said:
So, are you saying your brain has as much substance inside it as a ping pong ball? Could not help myself, you opened the door for me. von.
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All the juices from inside my head have extruded to the outside......It takes all I got to maintain this level of handsomeness,......and a full head of hair.......

Can’t have both Beauty and Intelligence,.........at my age.......
 
vongrimmenstein said:
Are you saying your Beauty & Brains are listing to Port? Or Starboard? von.
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At this Stage of my life,....my situation is rather like the Captain of the Titanic,....who didn't care whether the Ship was listing to either Side,.....but was more concerned with the inevitable foundering of the whole Enterprise.......
 
canaryinthemine said:
At this Stage of my life,....my situation is rather like the Captain of the Titanic,....who didn't care whether the Ship was listing to either Side,.....but was more concerned with the inevitable foundering of the whole Enterprise.......
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So Captain, is your command 'Man the Lifeboats'? von.
 
vongrimmenstein said:
So Captain, is your command 'Man the Lifeboats'? von.
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Hell, yes! Up Periscope! Batten the Hatches!...Hard Aport!....Shiver me Belaying Pin!.......
Women and Children first! Especially good-looking Women.......

If old age is ...taking me down with the ship,......I'm going to stand on the Flying Bridge,.......wear my cocked hat and epaulets......and go down shouting incoherent and contradictory orders....

....(something my wife says I do, anyway..)....
 
canaryinthemine said:
Hell, yes! Up Periscope! Batten the Hatches!...Hard Aport!....Shiver me Belaying Pin!.......
Women and Children first! Especially good-looking Women.......

If old age is ...taking me down with the ship,......I'm going to stand on the Flying Bridge,.......wear my cocked hat and epaulets......and go down shouting incoherent and contradictory orders....

....(something my wife says I do, anyway..)....
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Dear Captain. I like your style & the way you command. But, whatever you do, chart a wide course around the Secretary Of the Navy. Von.
 
Thank you for the vote of confidence, Bro. Von........and since none of us gets out of here alive,......
.......I insist on wearing out my “smiley” muscles,.......and holding off on using my “frowny” muscles......so that the undertaker can......follow the path of Least Resistance......
.......and plant me with a big easy grin on my face........
 
canaryinthemine said:
Thank you for the vote of confidence, Bro. Von........and since none of us gets out of here alive,......
.......I insist on wearing out my “smiley” muscles,.......and holding off on using my “frowny” muscles......so that the undertaker can......follow the path of Least Resistance......
.......and plant me with a big easy grin on my face........
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Be sure they plant you face up. That way, the people wandering around reading headstones not only will see your name, but see that smiling face. And wonder who that happy go lucky fool was. von.
 
vongrimmenstein said:
Be sure they plant you face up. That way, the people wandering around reading headstones not only will see your name, but see that smiling face. And wonder who that happy go lucky fool was. von.
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I’ve already contracted with Satan to run the ice water concession when I get here,.......
Hopefully, you have a different final destination.........but if you do end up here.......I’ll slip you a free glass.......On the house......
 
canaryinthemine said:
I’ve already contracted with Satan to run the ice water concession when I get here,.......
Hopefully, you have a different final destination.........but if you do end up here.......I’ll slip you a free glass.......On the house......
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Does your contract call for the little pea size ice? Best there is. If he gives you any flack, call me, & I will negotiate as your business agent. von.
 
canaryinthemine said:
I’ve already contracted with Satan to run the ice water concession when I get here,.......
Hopefully, you have a different final destination.........but if you do end up here.......I’ll slip you a free glass.......On the house......
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Speaking of a contract, how good are the work rules down there? von.
 
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