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ABF | Tall Tales From LTL's

Steward of the Rock

Steward of the Rock

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I know that we freight haulers/dock workers have a reputation for telling Tall Tales. So, I thought it would be entertaining for us to share some of our stories about it.
Several years back here at the Rock, we had two particular individuals that always had a better story than yours to tell. Here is one of those stories.
One of my co-workers ( let's just call him G.) came to work one day and had a whole platter of good ole' fried venison. At lunch time, he took it out of fridge and offered some to any one that wanted it. We all got a few pieces and heated it up to eat. As we were eating, someone asked G. where he killed the deer and how big was the rack. G. responded, "it was just a little four point but I did not even have to tag it". Some one else asked why he did not have to tag it and G. responded, "because I did not shoot the deer. He crossed the road in front of me and I nearly hit him. As he was running off I honked my horn at him. The deer turned his head to look back at the sound of my horn. Just as he turned his head back in the direction he was running, he ran straight into an old wooden telephone pole head first and it killed him". The guy sitting next to me had just taken a bite and spit it back out on his plate. I asked him what was wrong and he replied, " I can't eat this crap, it tastes like CREOSOTE!!!
 
There was another time that ole' G. was telling a story about one of his many hunting experiences. Apparently, he shot a large buck from his deer stand that was on the other side of a stream. He climbed down out of his stand and waded across the stream to retrieve the deer. The water was roughly four feet deep. When he got to the other side, he realized the deer was much bigger than he had originally thought (around 200 lbs.). He grabbed the deer and wadded back into the water thinking he could float the deer across, but the deer kept sinking under the water. The kill shot had apparently punctured the deer's lungs. He drags the deer back up on the bank and packs mud into the entry and exit hole from the bullet and blows the deer's lungs full of air. He was then successfully able to float the deer back across the stream with no problem. When he finished his story, some one asked, "how did you blow up the deer". He replied, " by cupping my hands around his nose, I was able to blow air into his nostrils. Once I had his lungs full, I simply pinched his nose closed so that the air could not escape. Then, someone else replied, "that's a relief. I was almost afraid to ask where the VALVE STEM is located on a deer".
 
There was the usual hunting fishing stories going around in the break room, one guy had made many 300 yard open sight head shots with the deer running, one bow hunter had put one arrow through two deer with one shot, (shishkabob), another not to be outdone was fishing when a trophy buck stepped into the edge of the lake, he caught the buck on his ultralight fly rod.
 
DCM_Doc said:
There was the usual hunting fishing stories going around in the break room, one guy had made many 300 yard open sight head shots with the deer running, one bow hunter had put one arrow through two deer with one shot, (shishkabob), another not to be outdone was fishing when a trophy buck stepped into the edge of the lake, he caught the buck on his ultralight fly rod.
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How long did it take him to reel the buck in?
 
Here is one of my favorite Tall Tales. This one involves the other individual I mentioned in the first post. Seabreeze, you may remember this guy as he is the one I told you about a few months back on another thread that he was a proud, 42-year Teamster. When I asked him how old he was, he responded "I turned 54-years old two weeks ago". So, apparently this guy was 12-years old when he joined the Teamsters. Anyway, I will call him "L". He was a bid forklift driver back when the Southern Region still had bid forklifts in our supplement. One day he pulled up in the trailer that I was working and asked me, "Young man, have you ever seen a human being spontaneously combust"? I said, "of course not. The odds of something like that actually happening would have to be like a trillion to one odds". He responded, "yeah, I know. I've only seen it happen twice in my lifetime".
 
True story or at lease that's what I was told lmfao. Motorcycle pulls up to a train crossing , with the arms just coming down. Now behind him comes a horse and buggy. Behind the horse and buggy pulls up a Mercedes-Benz. As the train starts to pass, the horse freaks and bit the bike rider. He freaks and pops the clutch and drops the bike which now has the horse really freaking out and backs the buggy into the Mercedes. Now while all this is going on, waiting on the sidewalk is a guy and his dog, he runs over to help the bike rider. He then ties the leash to the crossing arm so he can help lift the bike, and yes you guessed it, the train passes and the arms go up, taking the dog with it.
 
I have come to the conclusion about these tales, like gas mileage, the only way you're going to win, is "Tell your tale last"
Dog tales are no different, I once had a hunting dog called Smutt, a 13 in Beagle that without a doubt was the smartest dog in N C.
Smutt knew what I wanted to hunt without being told.
If I was hunting rabbits, she ran rabbits, if I wanted to tree a coon, she ran coons, same with deer, she ran deer without being told.
I decided to see if I could fool ole Smutt.
One morning, I came outside with my rod and reel in hand, couldn't find Smutt anywhere.
I looked and called, but no Smutt.
Finally, I walked down to the barn and found her, she was digging worms.
 
Ole' L. was a man of many skills. He claimed to be an expert at hypnosis, massage therapy, a master chef, and had the ability to speak to the dead. He once told a group of us that he witnessed a car accident in which the driver was decappitated. The man's head rolled under L's car. When L. opened his car door and looked under his car, the man's head was looking back at him and said, "help me" three or four times before fading away. L. was also quite the athlete according to him (even though he was 5 foot 5 inches tall and around). He claimed that in his younger days, he could stand flat footed and jump vertically up onto a 55 gallon drum and back down to the ground 10 consecutive times without hesitating at all. The man was a legend (according to him).
 
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Steward of the Rock said:
Ole' L. was a man of many skills. He claimed to be an expert at hipnosis, massage therapy, a master chef, and had the ability to speak to the dead. He once told a group of us that he witnessed a car accident in which the driver was decappitated. The man's head rolled under L's car. When L. opened his car door and looked under his car, the man's head was looking back at him and said, "help me" three or four times before fading away. L. was also quite the athlete according to him (even though he was 5 foot 5 inches tall and around). He claimed that in his younger days, he could stand flat footed and jump vertically up onto a 55 gallon drum and back down to the ground 10 consecutive times without hesitating at all. The man was a legend (according to him).
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And is he now on his 3rd set of knees? von.
 
I worked in a factory as an equipment mechanic. I worked with a guy named Ron who had alot of tall tales. Ron was a slight man who probably only weighed about 150 or so. One time Ron told me he had to take a bathroom break. He came back and told me on the way to the bathroom he stopped at the nurses station and weighed himself..... after he finished he weighed himself again and lost 17 lbs! He said I can't believe this! I said yeah I don't believe it either! Lmao. Ron is now a truck driver...I guess he now fits right in!
 
ABF381 said:
I worked in a factory as an equipment mechanic. I worked with a guy named Ron who had alot of tall tales. Ron was a slight man who probably only weighed about 150 or so. One time Ron told me he had to take a bathroom break. He came back and told me on the way to the bathroom he stopped at the nurses station and weighed himself..... after he finished he weighed himself again and lost 17 lbs! He said I can't believe this! I said yeah I don't believe it either! Lmao. Ron is now a truck driver...I guess he now fits right in!
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Well remind yourself never get into a bathroom stall next to Ron. :438:
 
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