ABF | Tall Tales From LTL's

Ole' L. was a man of many skills. He claimed to be an expert at hypnosis, massage therapy, a master chef, and had the ability to speak to the dead. He once told a group of us that he witnessed a car accident in which the driver was decappitated. The man's head rolled under L's car. When L. opened his car door and looked under his car, the man's head was looking back at him and said, "help me" three or four times before fading away. L. was also quite the athlete according to him (even though he was 5 foot 5 inches tall and around). He claimed that in his younger days, he could stand flat footed and jump vertically up onto a 55 gallon drum and back down to the ground 10 consecutive times without hesitating at all. The man was a legend (according to him).
Flat-footed reminds me of a doctor visit.
Dr asked me If I could still pee over a 3 rail fence.
I said, sure can if I'm standing in a dump truck.
 
Flat-footed reminds me of a doctor visit.
Dr asked me If I could still pee over a 3 rail fence.
I said, sure can if I'm standing in a dump truck.
I once went to the doctor as my memory was getting terrible and my wife was worried about it. I told the doctor,"Doc, my memory ability is getting worse by the day". The doctor said,"how long has this been going on"? I replied, "how long has what been going on"?
 
I once went to the doctor as my memory was getting terrible and my wife was worried about it. I told the doctor,"Doc, my memory ability is getting worse by the day". The doctor said,"how long has this been going on"? I replied, "how long has what been going on"?
Hey, whatever, as long as you can pee over a dump truck while standing on a three rail fence.......
 
I was reminded today at work about a funny incident that happened 10 to 12 years ago involving one of our operations managers.
It was on a Friday and our op's manager had issued several warning letters earlier in the day (absenteeism). As he was getting ready to leave for the day, he called me and told me to come see him where he parks his pick-up everyday. When I got there, he was fuming mad because someone had greased the underside of his door handle with fifth wheel grease and he had it all over both hands. He told me, "if I find out who did this I am going to fire their azz". After he cleaned up and left for the day, everyone was talking about it and laughing as several people were watching as it happened. But it gets even better.
Apparantely, whoever greased his door handle, also greased his tailgate handle as well. The next morning he took his brother-in-law with him to cut some firewood. When he opened the tailgate so they could load it up, he got himself another hand full of grease. Needless to say, I got another ear full from him that next week at work. But it still gets better.
3 or 4 months later, this op's manager has myself and another brother loading some things from his office into his truck. My co-worker gets ready to lower the tailgate, then stops and looks straight at the op's manager and say's, "would you mind lowering the tailgate? I don't want to get any grease on me".
TRUE STORY !!!!
 
I was reminded today at work about a funny incident that happened 10 to 12 years ago involving one of our operations managers.
It was on a Friday and our op's manager had issued several warning letters earlier in the day (absenteeism). As he was getting ready to leave for the day, he called me and told me to come see him where he parks his pick-up everyday. When I got there, he was fuming mad because someone had greased the underside of his door handle with fifth wheel grease and he had it all over both hands. He told me, "if I find out who did this I am going to fire their azz". After he cleaned up and left for the day, everyone was talking about it and laughing as several people were watching as it happened. But it gets even better.
Apparantely, whoever greased his door handle, also greased his tailgate handle as well. The next morning he took his brother-in-law with him to cut some firewood. When he opened the tailgate so they could load it up, he got himself another hand full of grease. Needless to say, I got another ear full from him that next week at work. But it still gets better.
3 or 4 months later, this op's manager has myself and another brother loading some things from his office into his truck. My co-worker gets ready to lower the tailgate, then stops and looks straight at the op's manager and say's, "would you mind lowering the tailgate? I don't want to get any grease on me".
TRUE STORY !!!!
The guys in the shop clowning around, greased mine one night.
At least they used clean grease, the last place I found greased was the gear shift knob.
 
The guys in the shop clowning around, greased mine one night.
At least they used clean grease, the last place I found greased was the gear shift knob.
Several years ago during one of the so called gasoline shortages one of the guys in the office bought a small Japanese car. He was always bragging on the fuel mileage, so several coworkers started putting a gallon or so of gasoline in the car at night. His fuel mileage went out of sight for a while, all the time bragging on fuel mileage.. After a month or so the culprits stopped adding gasoline. He stopped bragging & even took the car back to the dealer complaining about losing over 20MPG almost overnight. The shop foreman at the dealer told him to try a few more tanks & calculate only with actual gallons added & actual miles driven because he had never heard of even the small cars getting 50+ MPG.
 
Several years ago during one of the so called gasoline shortages one of the guys in the office bought a small Japanese car. He was always bragging on the fuel mileage, so several coworkers started putting a gallon or so of gasoline in the car at night. His fuel mileage went out of sight for a while, all the time bragging on fuel mileage.. After a month or so the culprits stopped adding gasoline. He stopped bragging & even took the car back to the dealer complaining about losing over 20MPG almost overnight. The shop foreman at the dealer told him to try a few more tanks & calculate only with actual gallons added & actual miles driven because he had never heard of even the small cars getting 50+ MPG.
Now that's a good one. Did they ever tell him what was going on?
 
I think they did later. As I remember it was payback for something he had done to one of them. I have known of somebody waiting years to repay a prank & it was usually a good one when they did. Payback is always worth waiting for. Some people are like my wife, she never forgets.
A married man may as well forget the mistakes he has made in his life, there is no reason for two people to remember all of them.
 
I think they did later. As I remember it was payback for something he had done to one of them. I have known of somebody waiting years to repay a prank & it was usually a good one when they did. Payback is always worth waiting for. Some people are like my wife, she never forgets.
I feel for you Doc, but I run things around my house, vacuum cleaner, dishwasher, washing machine.
 
He told a story like that one quite frequently.... I guess he was pretty regular then....lol
did he eat a bunch of brussel sprouts? I did a couple of times the week I retired
and made 'em pay! Metamucil ain't got nottin' on Brussel Sprouts...cleans out
everything! and the vitamins are excellent for your health (or so they say?)
 
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