This Weeks Crossword Answers

I've may have been a bit over zealous with the Hamm's during Happy Hour yesterday at the Lakeside......... anybody have a neck brace I could use?
Drunk Head First GIF by Barstool Sports
 
Oh....you know I had heard that Amazon put their tree/shrubbery delivers up for bid so it was FedEx that got it.......well that's good Clark my mailman was worried sick the USPS would land it, say I'll bet that's what led to their recent stellar quarterly report
 
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Oh....you know I had that Amazon put their tree/shrubbery delivers up for bid so it was FedEx that got it.......well that's good Clark my mailman was worried sick the USPS would land it, say I'll bet that's what led to their recent stellar quarterly report
It is all explained on the FedEx page on the Bonus thread.
 
Investigations are underway after a young lad was injured at WBL's Lakeside Cove beach Sunday, police chief Randy Taylor reminded residents to stay calm and not to lose their heads until the investigation is complete, the young boy remains in the hospital as doctors continue to work to resolve a problem he's having swallowing.

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After much witness testimony, Chief Taylor surmised the boy was helping his dad change a flat on 294 when an Orange truck raced by at 48 mph and his mirrors disintegrated sending small shards of glass all over the freeway. Apparently the boy told his dad he felt a bunch of small stinging sensations on his neck but nothing to cry over. After his head fell off, doctors and Taylor deduced that those microscopic shards caused the boys bloodless decapitation. It was such a clean cut, surgeons will reattach his head with stitches soaked in beet juice for permanent sterilization….
 
After much witness testimony, Chief Taylor surmised the boy was helping his dad change a flat on 294 when an Orange truck raced by at 48 mph and his mirrors disintegrated sending small shards of glass all over the freeway. Apparently the boy told his dad he felt a bunch of small stinging sensations on his neck but nothing to cry over. After his head fell off, doctors and Taylor deduced that those microscopic shards caused the boys bloodless decapitation. It was such a clean cut, surgeons will reattach his head with stitches soaked in beet juice for permanent sterilization….
An update to this story has witnesses pointing to a semi owned by, Beets Express of Clarence, Iowa. Police are investigating a possible, obstructed windshield when they found beet juice in the windshield washer reservoir.

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I've been getting tons of calls, texts, letters, teletypes, and people knocking at my door, all wanting to know what's the deal with the Coop's Ottumwa yard, well the new front gate was finished yesterday so I can officially let the cat out of the bag, Big Dave decided to build the moving picture capital of the Midwest on the site of the former yard and recreate Hollywood in Iowa, welcome to Ottumwood.

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