Qualifications for Trucking newbies:
(1) Can you get into the cab? Y_ N_
(2) Can you start the engine? Y_ N_
(3) Can you tell auto from standard shift? Y_ N_
(4) Do you know what the pedals do? Y_ N_
(5) Do you know how to hook up a trailer? Y_ N_
(6) Do you know which end of a trailer to hook up? Y_ N_ I'm in skoll stopid_
(7) If you're going South on a Westbound Road, which way is East? Left_ Right_ Unsure_ Thought I was going East_ I'll text someone_
(8) If you are using E-Logs and you have driven 6.75 hours, how many hours remain using the 14 (hours to use) x 7 (days in a week) formula? 3.25_ 4.50_ 5.25_ 6.0_ 47.75_
(9) How do Air Brakes work? I dunno_ Like cars_
(10) Does your momma work here? Maybe_ Depends on pay_ I don't have a momma_
(11) Are you from The Hillbilly or The Bluegrass? Maybe_ Where?_ I dunno_ My sistercousin-wife shud kno_
(12) You ever wore a fur collar? What_ Maybe_ Unsure_
(13) What is your Gender? M_ F_ Neither_ Unknown_
(14) Do you like red trucks? Y_ N_
If you answered none, a few or all above, CONGRATULATIONS, you're now a professional trucker and with 9 weeks driving experience, provided you're still alive and not in jail, you can up your pay by becoming a Trainer and truly enjoy all the rewards of Trucking like company sponsored lot lizards and free showers.
Sine we are outside in the driver playground, please return to the dispatcher/driver/load planner training class (in the red building) by following the yellow arrows (NOT the green arrows) as we have additional rewards plus there will be free ice cream and cookies.
Thank you for your participation.
You'll be assigned trucks soon_ maybe_ we're not sure_.