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FedEx Freight | bonus checks

365Volare said:
hmmm, it would be nice for the wife to buy something nice for me !!!:hide: She always knows what the paychecks are before I get it.....
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write this in your diary...:biglaugh:
Dear Diary:

I never have quite figured out why the sexual urges of men & women differ so much. And I never have figured out the whole Venus and Mars thing. And, I never figured out why men think with their head and women think with their heart. And I never yet have figured out how the sexual desire gene gets thrown into a state of turmoil, when it hears the words "I do."

One evening last week, my wife and I were getting into bed. Well, the passion starts to heat up, and she eventually say’s "I don't feel like it, I just want you to hold me." I said "WHAT?" So she says the words that I know every husband on the planet dreads. She explains that I must not be in tune with her emotional needs as a Woman. I'm thinking, "What was her first clue?" I finally realize that nothing was going to happen that night, so I went to sleep.

The very next day, we went shopping at a big, unnamed department store. I walked around with her while she tried on three different very expensive outfits. She could not decide which one to take so I told her to take all three of them. She then tells me that she wants matching shoes worth $200.00 a pair to which I say OK. And then we go to the jewelry department where she sees a pair of diamond earrings. Let me tell you. She was so excited. She must have thought that I was one wave short of a shipwreck, but I don't think she cared. I think she was testing me when she asked for a tennis bracelet because she does not even play tennis. I think I threw her for a loop when I told her that it was OK. She was almost sexually excited from all of this and you should have seen her face when she said, "I'm ready to go to the check out counter."

I could hardly contain myself when I blurted out, "No, honey I don't feel like buying all this stuff now." You should have seen her face. It went completely blank. I then said, "Really honey! I just want you to HOLD this stuff for a while." And just when she had this look like she was going to kill me I added, "You must not be in tune with my financial needs as a Man." I figure that I won't be having sex again until sometime after the spring of 2008.
 
i am counting on the bonus checks being alot smaller this quarter! freight has been too slow to be much at all! i am going to go to the pub get a $5 beer and free bar nuts:hysterical::biglaugh:

oh, yeah the bar nuts are the new improvement to our bonus plan.

eat up they are frrrreeeeeeee! just drink that one beer real ssssllloooowwww!:nutkick:
 
super trucker said:
i am counting on the bonus checks being alot smaller this quarter! freight has been too slow to be much at all! i am going to go to the pub get a $5 beer and free bar nuts:hysterical::biglaugh:

oh, yeah the bar nuts are the new improvement to our bonus plan.

eat up they are frrrreeeeeeee! just drink that one beer real ssssllloooowwww!:nutkick:
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Come on driver, How many times have you been to a bar and gone to the restroom and watch people who don't wash there hands. Those discusting people are the same ones who ate the bar nuts just b4 you sat down.

1. Always order bottled beer! (don't know
how clean the glasses are).

2. Grab a bite to eat b4 you go to the bar (so
you wont be tempted to eat those nuts)

3. And rate the woman in the bar on a scale.
You can refer to this later in the night and
compare to your beer goggles.

4. Always keep a fat girl in your back pocket
for a sober ride home.

RULES TO LIVE BY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
 
delux said:
Come on driver, How many times have you been to a bar and gone to the restroom and watch people who don't wash there hands. Those discusting people are the same ones who ate the bar nuts just b4 you sat down.

1. Always order bottled beer! (don't know
how clean the glasses are).

2. Grab a bite to eat b4 you go to the bar (so
you wont be tempted to eat those nuts)
3. And rate the woman in the bar on a scale.
You can refer to this later in the night and
compare to your beer goggles.

4. Always keep a fat girl in your back pocket
for a sober ride home.

RULES TO LIVE BY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
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to be honest with you!
1. Always order bottled beer! (don't know
how clean the glasses are). draft has a higher alcohol content due to not being pasteurized

2. Grab a bite to eat b4 you go to the bar (so
you wont be tempted to eat those nuts)
that was a slam against the people first policy!!!! :nutkick:

3. And rate the woman in the bar on a scale.
You can refer to this later in the night and
compare to your beer goggles.again, draft beer, makes for a early night, matbe get lucky earlier also:1036316054:

4. Always keep a fat girl in your back pocket
for a sober ride home.
my pockets are not that big, I work for fedex freight in the city, not a road driver:hide:
gee, hope this don't rub pompano wrong way,............ ah he get over it hee hee
 
do you guys get your full bonus checks? Out here in the west, they started confiscating 25% of our monthly bonus in August. Here we have to make a certain profit percentage to trigger a VPEP ckeck. Now they take out the 25 % and if the COMPANIES do not make a profit goal, they use our 25% to make up thier deficites, So much for "operating independently"
 
delux said:
Come on driver, How many times have you been to a bar and gone to the restroom and watch people who don't wash there hands. Those discusting people are the same ones who ate the bar nuts just b4 you sat down.

1. Always order bottled beer! (don't know
how clean the glasses are).

2. Grab a bite to eat b4 you go to the bar (so
you wont be tempted to eat those nuts)

3. And rate the woman in the bar on a scale.
You can refer to this later in the night and
compare to your beer goggles.

4. Always keep a fat girl in your back pocket
for a sober ride home.

RULES TO LIVE BY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
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What good is a beer in a bottle when they pick it up by the neck and hand it to you?
 
14wheeler said:
beer can never be bad
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I don't know about that.. I watched a episode of Mythbusters this morning, and they tried to bust a myth of cooling beer by burying it in sand after being soaked in gas and setting it on fire.. They then tested the sand covered, over heated, gas smelling can...

At that point.. I believe it could be bad!

:hysterical:
 
gtrdone said:
I don't know about that.. I watched a episode of Mythbusters this morning, and they tried to bust a myth of cooling beer by burying it in sand after being soaked in gas and setting it on fire.. They then tested the sand covered, over heated, gas smelling can...

At that point.. I believe it could be bad!

:hysterical:
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i'll try not set my beer on fire although the gas gives it that extra kick.:hysterical:
 
Heard today the checks will be out next friday, we maxed out on everything except safety, too many injuries. Spend wisely!
 
MAYHEM666 said:
Heard today the checks will be out next friday, we maxed out on everything except safety, too many injuries. Spend wisely!
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Service = between target and maximum
claims = between target and maximum
cost = maximum
safetly = below minimum

Payment will be Sept 28th.

For all of those who are not pre-shifted at your barns.. If there is a Second Quarter Payout.. It will be on December 28th. This was communicated to all managment personel so that everyone knows pre-Christmas. That is the last Friday of December and is in line with how every payment is made.

Good work guys.. now go out and get us some business, so another bonus check can be enjoyed in December.

Gt-R-Done
 
Recieved a message from Central last week saying if we out in the West didn't average 600 more shipments per day from now until the end of the month (10) days, we wern't going to get a bonus check for September. Maybe their idea of using outside carriers has paided off, after all.
 
ol' man said:
Recieved a message from Central last week saying if we out in the West didn't average 600 more shipments per day from now until the end of the month (10) days, we wern't going to get a bonus check for September. Maybe their idea of using outside carriers has paided off, after all.
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Yea like you guys can control that !
Maybe the salesmen could do their jobs for a change instead of telling us to take care of it for them.
 
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