Off-Topic Joke Thread

Driver went to Heaven.
Walked up to a bunch of drivers in custom trucks, fully decked out.
They were all standing around.
Driver asked "why are you folks standing around and not hauling freight"?
They said "because no dispatchers made it to Heaven".

Liberty

029_Thor_Twin_Engine_Peterbilt.jpg
 
During a visit to my doctor, I asked her, “How do you know whether or not an older person should be put in an old age home?”

“Well,” she said, “we fill up a bathtub, then we offer a teaspoon, a teacup and a bucket to the person, to empty the bathtub.”

“Oh, I get it,” I said. “ A normal person would use the bucket as it’s the biggest.”

“No,” she said. “A normal person would pull the plug. Would you like a bed by the window?”
 
During a visit to my doctor, I asked her, “How do you know whether or not an older person should be put in an old age home?”

“Well,” she said, “we fill up a bathtub, then we offer a teaspoon, a teacup and a bucket to the person, to empty the bathtub.”

“Oh, I get it,” I said. “ A normal person would use the bucket as it’s the biggest.”

“No,” she said. “A normal person would pull the plug. Would you like a bed by the window?”
My uncle was a lumberjack, but he couldn't hack it..........so they gave him the axe.
 
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