blonde joke anyone??
Blondes Are The Best!!!
A blonde and her husband are lying in bed listening to the
next door neighbor's dog. It has been in the backyard barking for
hours and hours. The blonde jumps up out of bed and says, "I've had enough
of this". She
goes downstairs. The blonde finally comes back up to bed and her husband
says "The dog is still barking, what have you been doing?"
The blonde says, "I put the dog in our backyard, let's see
how THEY like it!
++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++
Two Blondes With Hammers...
Lynn and Judy were doing some carpenter work on a Habitat
for Humanity House. Lynn was nailing down house siding, would
reach into her nail pouch, pull out a nail and either toss it over her
shoulder
or nail it in.
Judy, figuring this was worth looking into, asked, 'Why are
you throwing those nails away?' Lynn explained, 'When I pull a nail out
of my pouch, about
half of them have the head on the wrong end and I throw them away.'
Judy got completely upset and yelled, 'You moron! Those
nails aren't defective! They're for the other side of the house!'
+++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++
Did you hear about the two blondes who froze to death in a
drive-in movie?
They had gone to see 'Closed for the Winter.'
+++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++
You might have to think twice about this one.
A blonde hurried into the emergency room late one night
with the tip of her index finger shot off. 'How did this happen?' the
emergency room doctor asked her. 'Well, I was trying to commit *******,'
the blonde
replied. 'What?' sputtered the doctor. 'You tried to commit ******* by
shooting off your finger?'
'No, Silly' the blonde said. 'First I put the gun to my
chest, and then I thought, 'I just paid $6, 000.00 for these implants..
I'm not shooting myself in the chest.' 'So then?' asked the doctor.
'Then I put the gun in my mouth, and I thought, 'I just
paid $3,000.00 to get my teeth straightened I'm not shooting myself in the
mouth.' 'So then?' 'Then I put the gun to my ear, and I thought: 'This is
going to make a loud noise. So I put my finger in my other ear before I
pulled the trigger.
++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++
A blonde was driving home after a game and got caught in a really bad
hailstorm. Her car was covered with dents, so the next day she took it
to a repair shop. Theshop owner saw that she was a blonde, so he decided
to have some fun.. He told her to go home and blow into the
tail pipe really hard, and all the dents would pop out.
So, the blonde went home, got down on her hands and knees
and started blowing into her tailpipe. Nothing happened.. So she blew a
little harder, and still nothing happened.
Her blonde roommate saw her and asked, 'What are you
doing?' The first blonde told her how the repairman had instructed her to
blow into the tail pipe in order to get all the dents to pop out. The
roommate rolled her eyes and said, 'Uh, like hello! You need to roll up the
windows first.'
+++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++
A blonde was shopping at Target and came across a shiny
silver thermos She was quite fascinated by it, so she picked it up and
took it to the clerk to ask what it was. The clerk said, 'Why, that's a
thermos..... It keeps hot
things hot, and cold things cold.' 'Wow, said the blonde, 'that's
amazing....I'm going to buy
it!' So she bought the thermos and took it to work the next day. Her
boss saw it on her desk. 'What's that,' he asked? 'Why, that's a
thermos..... It keeps hot things hot and
cold things cold,' she replied.. Her boss inquired, 'What do you have in
it?'
The blond replied..... ...'Two popsicles and some coffee.'
+++++++++++++
AND LAST BUT NOT LEAST
A blonde goes into work one morning crying her eyes out.
Her boss asked sympathetically, 'What's the matter?'
The blonde replies, 'Early this morning I got a phone call
saying that my mother had passed away.'
The boss, feeling sorry for her, says, 'Why don't you go
home for the day? Take the day off to relax and rest.'
'Thanks, but I'd be better off here. I need to keep my mind
off it and I have the best chance of doing that here.'
The boss agrees and allows the blonde to work as usual. A
couple of hours pass and the boss decides to check on the blonde. He looks
out
from his office and sees the blonde crying hysterically.
'What's so bad now? Are you gonna be okay?' he asks.
'No!' exclaims the blonde. 'I just received a horrible call
from my sister. Her mother died, too!'